Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Why can't we put him down?!?!

HELP!!! Me and my husband love and adore our 5 month old and I'm sure he loves us as well because we can't put him down for more than a minute before the crying begins. Sometimes he can be put down for 5 minutes but not much longer. We don't really believe in the crying it out method. We've tried it but he just ends up crying so hard that he begins to cough and looks as if he's trying to catch his breath. It hurts my heart and I didnt stop him. I just dont know what to do! I cant even do laundry or pick up the house without him screaming if he's put down. I need help...
p.s. ive tried the front carrier and he really didnt like it much.

Answer Question

Asked by ShayMama68 at 1:44 PM on Feb. 21, 2011 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 4 (39 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • darn he doesnt like the carrier!! my dd lived in our carrier!! that was the only way to get things done during the day! maybe the more u wear him the more he will like it!! sorry im not much help! good luck!

    Answer by Caroline2010 at 1:50 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • You have taught him that if he cries you will pick him up. You will either have to grin and bear it or go through the "cry it out" method. My STRONG suggestion is the latter. Playing into the "pick me up cuz I cry" game will cause bigger problems in the future.

    Answer by specialwingz at 1:53 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • What about a ring sling like an Over the Shoulder Baby Holder or a wrap like the Wrap n' Wear? I have used all three types of carriers (the front pack, the sling and the wrap) and they are good for different kids and different activities. Since he doesn't like to be put down, try another carrier type and if that doesn't work then tag-team however you can. Sometimes the housework just has to wait until it's someone's day off so you can work together and one holds the baby while the other cleans. And that's okay, the baby needs to come first. My house was a terrible wreck until my daughter was 15 months old because she was like that and then she would follow me around crying once she could crawl and walk lol.

    People before things is a good mantra to remember, and there's a poem... lemme see if I can find it...

    Answer by Ati_13 at 1:54 PM on Feb. 21, 2011


    Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth,
    Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
    Hang out the washing, make up the bed,
    Sew on a button and butter the bread.

    Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
    She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

    Oh, I've grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,
    Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo.
    Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
    Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo

    The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew
    And out in the yard there's a hullabaloo
    But I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo
    Look! Aren't his eyes the most wonderful hue?
    Lullabye, rockaby lullabye loo.

    The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
    But children grow up as I've learned to my sorrow.
    So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!
    I'm rocki

    Answer by Ati_13 at 1:58 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • ng my baby and babies don't keep

    Answer by Ati_13 at 1:59 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • What about a swing, or maybe a stationary toy like this???


    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 1:59 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • When he is in the carrier is he facing you or facing out? He should be old enough to face out by now, if he doesn't absolutely hate it then keep trying and he might learn to like it, just do it for a few minutes at a time a couple of times a day. You can also try putting him down where he can see and hear you and then talk to him while you do what you need to do, try to keep it short so that he only fusses for a few minutes, but just keep talking to him in a cheerful voice so he knows you are there and learns that you will come back for him. Now might be a great time for a johnny jumper or an exersaucer, too. Most of all hang in there, because in a few short months he will get more mobile on the floor and be able to start scooting around and maybe even crawling and then he will be less clingy and more into exploring on his own. A year from now you'll have to chase him down to even get a hug so try to enjot this time if you can

    Answer by MaryMW at 2:23 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • Do you sit down with him? Does he cry when you are right there with him? If not, then you could get him interested in toys or books while you are next to him, then gradually (over days/weeks) move farther away until he's okay with you just being in the room, then as long as he can hear you.

    Answer by missanc at 3:52 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • The other moms have some great alternative advice if he really doesn't like the carrier. My kids loved their excersaucer, the picture above. My son favored a swing over a bouncy seat, but my daughter like the bouncy seat better than the swing.

    We did a modified cry it out method because I COULD NOT tolerate listening to my child scream and cry for hours on end.
    1) put child down/in bed like normal
    2) wait 5 minutes to see if they'll calm themselves
    3a) if calming down after the first five minutes give an additional 5 minutes to see if they'll stop
    3b) if still screaming full throttle go in and comfort and calm down and start over at 1
    **BIG CAVEAT to above: If at any time the screams of protest turn to anger or fear go in IMMEDIATELY and comfort and love.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 4:10 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • A 5 month old needs to get their needs met and cannot be "taught" to be more independent. You have a high needs baby right now. Resign yourself to the fact that he needs to be held 24/7 right now, and that things around the house just wont get done.

    If you try to "train" him to be happy not being held he will likely only cling tighter. Keep holding him and before you know it he will be begging to be put down!

    Have you tried any other carriers, like a sling?

    Answer by maggiemom2000 at 4:31 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.