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3 months pregnant and have a problem.....

I just found out that im gonna have another baby (this is the 3rd). my husband and i had a bad split because of the things he was doing. Things have changed and we are back together now and happier than ever. While we were split up i was with another man and there is a chance that this baby is not my husbands and i have told him that. We are still ok in our relastionship but h says he cant raise a baby that is not his but i cant even imagin giving this baby up for adoption just because of some stupid mistake i made. What should we do

 
jhenry456

Asked by jhenry456 at 2:31 PM on Feb. 21, 2011 in Relationships

Level 5 (82 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • Sperm does not make you a father it all the stuff you do to raise a child that make you the father. If you two are to survive this I would seek professional help with your relationship, cuz it sounds to me like this baby could really put a kink in things. I could not give up my baby either & would end up hating my DH if he force the issue.
    Graciesmom528

    Answer by Graciesmom528 at 2:37 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • Ask him if he's willing to never know if its his or not and raise it like it was his.
    aheuszel

    Answer by aheuszel at 2:33 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • I would go the route of not knowing if that's an option. If he insists on knowing, then you need to know where you both stand. If his ultimatum is to give up the baby or he leaves, then you can then turn around and say keep both of us or neither. Having to choose between him and the baby is just wrong, and it would cause so many more problems than it would solve. Hopefully he'll be ok with not knowing for sure, or he'll have a change of heart once the baby is born (or both).
    DragonRiderMD

    Answer by DragonRiderMD at 2:49 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • i totally wud not stress until the baby is born... have u traced it back to when u think u conceived?
    waitin4miracle

    Answer by waitin4miracle at 2:36 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • What the first poster said. My oldest sister may not be my sister at all. We have different mothers and her mom told her she wasn't my dad's. But my dad didn't care by that time, she was his daughter, blood or no.
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 2:36 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • I agree that some counseling is probably your best bet, considering your relationship has already had some really rocky times, you want to make sure that you are able to get thru this together. If you can't have a DNA test done until the baby is born then you won't be able to find out before and need to have a plan of what you will do either way. What can NOT happen is that you stay together and find out the baby is not your DH"s and that baby is raised being treated differently for his entire life. It is not the child's fault if he is not your DH's child and he can not pay for mistakes made by adults. If the child is your DH's then you want to be sure that he is over your break up and the relations you had during that time and that the marriage is now stronger moving forward. Best of luck to you.
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 2:47 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • My x wouldn't raise his own kids! Just wait until the child is born and do a dna test then decide what to do.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:54 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • He says that now but things could change. My cousin and his ex were off and on for years; during one of their off times she got pregnant but she and my cousin got back together just before she found out she was pregnant and he raises that boy like his own. Another friend of mine was pregnant when she started dating her fiance, though she didn't find out she was pregnant until after they started dating and she told him it wasn't his kid but when her daughter was born he signed the paternity papers and is legally responsible for her. Another friend broke up with her boyfriend and got pregnant during the year they were apart and when they got back together he took one look at that baby and has been a devoted daddy ever since.
    momof2inCT2007

    Answer by momof2inCT2007 at 3:29 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • if he truly loves you it should not matter.This is not easy i know but if he is as great as you say,Then why not love a child that is just as much a part of you?
    grismelda

    Answer by grismelda at 4:07 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • Keep the baby and leave him if he's not willing to move on with life together.
    HKing01

    Answer by HKing01 at 5:01 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

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