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I'm a stay-at-home mom with a 16 month old and I have become miserable...help?

I have two children...a 10 year old (Blake) and a 16 month old (Riley). Blake has been a breeze to raise, but Riley is bringing us to our knees. I stay-at-home with her and she is "all about Mommy"...she is painfully shy and very demanding so "Mommy Day Out" programs and babysitters are not possible. She always wants my full attention and is extremely determined to get it, which makes doing laundry and cooking non-existent when she's awake. I find myself exhausted all the time and find it hard to even get a shower most days. I realize I need to take time for myself, but there are ALWAYS other chores that HAVE to get done or things that need my attention. I have found myself completely neglected and miserable and I realize that life is too short to be this way...any tips!?!

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Smartie2019

Asked by Smartie2019 at 3:32 PM on Feb. 21, 2011 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 2 (8 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • I hear you, mommy. Raising kids is sooooo hard, on many levels. Hang in there. Riley will soon be old enough to be in school, not want you around, get married and have her own family. This is just temporary.

    Hugs . .
    ImaginationMama

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 3:37 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • I think you need to find ways to make her love of your attention work for you. She can help you do your chores- it will take longer to do laundry with a 16 month old helping you load the dryer but it will get done, and if you lavish her with praise and treat the chore with excitement she will get on board to "help" you. Also, if she misbehaves and does not comply, some gentle ignoring can get you far. When I am getting my DD dressed, if I ask her to come sit down more than twice and she does not, I look down at the floor and ignore her until she does what I have asked. She hates this and caught on really quickly as to what she needed to do to get my attention back. Lastly, your DD may never like it that you will go out for some time to yourself, but eventually she is going to have to be left home without you so might as well start it now and get it over with. She will live and you will get your break so just go for it. GL!
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 3:39 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • Do you get out and about to the park, library or other areas where there are kids and toys? It would be great if you can get her playing with others and developing interests and independence, even with you right there giving you a much needed opportunity to chat with other parents.
    Nonoluna

    Answer by Nonoluna at 3:43 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • @ Nonoluna...I find myself ALWAYS staying in the house because it's so hard to get MYSELF dressed and then getting her dressed. Once I finally get her and me dressed, most of the day has passed and I got nothing done around the house. I'm trying to simplify, but I'm at a loss. I really want to get her out to the park to socialize because even when strangers come near her to talk to her or compliment her, she freaks out and reaches for me until they go away...it's embarrassing!! lol...on another note, I cannot imagine taking her to the libary because she wants to destroy EVERYTHING and she does not listen well. We'll get her books out and all she wants to do is rip pages out...when this happens, I quickly bring story time to a close and put the books up, but she has a mind of her own. She refuses to hold my hand and would much rather be held...I'm telling you...this one broke the mold!?!? Seriously strong willed....ugh!!
    Smartie2019

    Comment by Smartie2019 (original poster) at 3:50 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • OH momma.... I soooooo hear ya... but I think the only way she will LEARN to become a little less clingy, and more independent, socialize with other kids, NOT destroy EVERYTHING, is just DOING IT!!! lol... The best way to teach her these things is by just dealing with it... it'll be hard @ the beginning, but it'll get easier. She will learn to open up, acceptable behavior, etc. and you will learn what works best to achieve your desired results.. just ENJOY!!! lol Not to mention you NEED it. I don't get out without mine, we are military and hubby is usually deployed, and no family around to sit, so it's just US.. and I just started saying to hell with it.. and trekking everywhere with my twins..since they were 6 days old... lol
    peekab00

    Answer by peekab00 at 5:47 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • i get your pain .. 2yr old girl ... 7 month boy .. n husband works in golf 4 weeks gone 2 wks home .. stay at home mom

    ssome days are harder than others ...
    it helps to get out of the house .. even if its just to walk at park for a breather ..
    a change of senery can do wonders ...
    play a game .. ask baby to point out things...
    patrtiots_mommy

    Answer by patrtiots_mommy at 7:21 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • This sounds like my son! I feel your pain! He's now almost 2 1/2, and he has gotten so much better with age. Would it be possible to hire someone to help around the house while you are at home? A housekeeper/nanny that could come for a few hours 1-2 times a week may take some of the household things off your shoulders, and maybe if your daughter warms up to her over time you can get some time on your own. Try finding other moms in the area for playdates as well, where she can meet other toddlers while still being with you. My son was the same way - I could hardly cook dinner, get dressed, anything. Message me if you like!!
    mevxoxo

    Answer by mevxoxo at 7:36 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • My DD just turned 17 months. She also is "all about" Mama. She's also very strong-willed and a "do it myself" kind of baby. Almost conflicting personalities there with Mama-dependence/independence.

    It will pass. It's a developmental thing.

    Don't stress over not getting any housework done. Nobody will know next week what your house looks like today. Do enough to get by and cherish your child :) The day will come when she won't want to be carried or held...
    Mom_to_Skyler

    Answer by Mom_to_Skyler at 12:22 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • my daughter has been hanging off my leg for about three weeks straight.
    Tracee F.

    Answer by Tracee F. at 7:55 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

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