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How do i tell my son he has siblings out there he'll probably never meet?

after my son was born his father was acting really shady so i took it upon myself to do a background check. I turned out that my son's father is married and has a child with his wife (they live in florida), i couldn't believe he lied to me about everything! I immediately left him. He theatened me and our son and basically just went nuts. i got a restraining order and that was the end of it. However, now i've come to find out he got another girl pregnant. He is not a part of any of his kids lives and denies having any kids. When and HOW and WHEN do i tell my son that he has other siblings out there?

 
lashes325

Asked by lashes325 at 3:54 PM on Feb. 21, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 15 (1,937 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • how old is he now? if it were me, i would wait until he starts asking questions about his dad. but you should also take each question as they come, and try to only give enough information to answer his question. the subject of siblings will probably come up when he starts getting curious about his dad.

    my oldest (4 years old) also has a sister that she will probably never know because she doesnt know her bio-dad. he left us when i was pregnant and stopped coming around before she even turned 1. she has her sisters that DH and i had together, but her bio-dad got married & had another child last year. it makes me sad, knowing she will probably never have a relationship with her sister other than in the future if they both want one. but i do not plan on telling her until she is older & gets curious about her real dad.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 3:58 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • I don't really see that he needs to know if the father isn't in either of your lives.
    meandrphoto

    Answer by meandrphoto at 3:55 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • How old is your son? IMO, I wouldn't tell him anything until he was in his late teens, if I told him at all.
    Cindy18

    Answer by Cindy18 at 3:56 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • ~*Open/Honestly*~ ... at an age where they will fully understand, be honest, and answer all that you are able to
    MommaClark3

    Answer by MommaClark3 at 3:57 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • He's almost 11 months...
    lashes325

    Comment by lashes325 (original poster) at 3:57 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • I don't know that you have to, it may bring the Ex back into both of your lives. If you really feel the need, when he's old enough you just have to sit down & tell him, but if your Ex is so bad, you may want proof to show your son when he's old enough to handle it. I myself wouldn't stir up a hornets nest. Keep your relationship w/your son just that. IMO
    MyAngel003

    Answer by MyAngel003 at 3:59 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • Honesty is the best policy, but if he is only 11 months old, I wouldnt worry about it right now.But if the father isnt in his life, then maybe you need to wait until the child asks questions. Most dont for many years, and some do at a young age. But you dont know where life will lead you, if youll get married or have another child, or what other things may happen. if you cant get it off of your conciences, write a letter to your your child and put it in a safe spot, explaining the circumstances and get it out when you feel its right. best of luck!
    sissy4444

    Answer by sissy4444 at 4:15 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • You got a long long time before you need to worry about that, and he doesn't really have to know about the half-siblings especially if the father is not in his life, and the siblings are just half-siblings too.
    Honda309

    Answer by Honda309 at 4:25 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • He is 11 months old, I wouldn't worry about it unless he comes to a point where he asks. Otherwise, I wouldn't say anything. It would be a different story if the father was in the kids lives.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 4:27 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • OMG!!! The exact same question that one on here like a month ago. Y would u enev say anything? That would only hurt him! Keep quiet about that because there is absolutely no us to bringing it up!!
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 7:41 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

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