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How would you deal with this problem?

My 10 year old is being verbally bullied by another 10 year old girl. She's to the point where she's ready to just knock the girl in the nose, and hurt her, but we know that's not appropriate. The school's guidance counselor has had them in her office twice in the last week trying to get them to get along. The girl will not listen and still bullies my child. I'm to the point of going to see the principal, and tell him that I don't want my child in any more guidance and that he himself needs to call the bully in and talk to her. If that doesn't work I'm going to let my kid take care of it herself how she sees fit. She's starting karate this week, and along with helping her get focus, she will be able to defend herself, if something like this happens again. What would you do in this situation?

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Asked by Anonymous at 7:16 PM on Feb. 21, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (14)
  • Is the other girl putting her hands on your daughter?

    I'm going to say let your daughter deal with it her way. Some people just don't understand until something drastic happens. Your daughter will get in trouble at school though, so be prepared for that.

    Answer by Cindy18 at 7:21 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • I thought that all states had anti bullying laws of some sort. Either way, go to the principal, let him know you want him to intervene, if he doesn't do it or he does and it doesn't work...GO TO THE POLICE STATION and file a report. Sometimes kids just won't quit, I would say if it gets to the point that it turns from verbal to should make sure that you have documentation that you tried to have it stopped. Have you tried getting in touch with the parents?? Did the guidance counselor call her parents (they should have to make sure everyone was aware of the situation) I hope you get it figured out, but I would follow the route of principal, principal and parents, police, and after that if it doesn't stop...I'm sorry to say maybe she won't stop until she gets beat up. (I know, I know fighting isn't the answer, but when dealing with bullies sometimes that's the only route when nothing else worked)

    Answer by kitchenwitch78 at 7:21 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • I would do the same thing you are thinking about doing. GO to the principles office don't call and demand something be done that day. If he can't handle it he needs to get her parents involved. GL

    Answer by aheuszel at 7:22 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • Bullying in our schools is tolerated more now than in the past because the schools are scared of consequences from the bully parents. I would set up a meeting with the guidance counselor and the principal. I would ask them to tell you what their anti-bullying policy is and what they are going to do to make sure that their daughter is safe. I would also demand that their be some consequences to the offender.
    If it continues, schedule another meeting with the principal and the parents of the other kid.
    The teacher DO need to be stepping in when they see happen. Demand it.
    I am so sorry, by the way . . . . we should have more of a zero tolerance policy.

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 7:23 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • I'm sure everyone is going to say this is terrible, but maybe your daughter should be able to handle it as she sees fit,
    but, I do have a few suggestions that she may want to try before punching her in the nose.

    I'd have a friend video tape it. granted, that risks loosing a camera, but some pretty cheap ones have video features these days.
    and I think the cost of the camera is worth hopefully being able to settle this matter.
    Note: my research has showed me that there is little to nothing anyone can do if they don't want their or their child's picture taken. I'm not talking about posting it on the internet, getting the video and then showing it to the principal. (I'd make a copy first. )
    as far as parents getting mad that their kids picture got taken, I would risk it. this bullying thing can get really bad. we all know it

    If nothing else, maybe the teacher can introduce a lesson on something called the first amendment.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:24 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • This is hard. Me if I am with my kides I tell them if someone hit u ,u heat them back. I fell so bad when I knew someone bother or touch my kides.

    Answer by lelly1019 at 7:26 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • Is she going to fight people every time they bully her in life? Teach her how to use her brains and not her fists. That's what my mom taught us

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:32 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • I was always told, as I will tell my kids, "I do not expect you to start a fight but you are NO ONE'S punching bag." However, if it's words, what always worked for me in school was to look at them and say "I feel sorry for you. Your life must be really hard for you to have to pick on me to have a good day." They either had no response or they would hit me and I'd hit back. I would never start a fight but I would always end it.

    Answer by MamaStuart at 7:36 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • I agree with MamaStuart, even if the other girl has been verbally abusive, but hasn't done anything physically, then your daughter will be the one who will get in trouble if she punchs the other girl, even though the other started it first. There is another way, u can get a voice recorder, tell your dd how to use it, and when the other girl starts name calling, it will be on tape, and if the school continues to do nothing, go to the police station, give them a copy then get another copy and mail it to the other girls parents.

    Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 11:45 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • Just an FYI: one of the first things any reputable karate or martial arts instructor will teach your daughter is that Karate CANNOT be used for violence, showing off or hurting people. It is for self defence ONLY. If you are planning on having her take the lessons and even verbally threaten the other child with karate you are missing the point.
    Bullying is hard to deal with but I agree with the PP about the camera or even a digital recorder so they can record the verbal parts of it. Most cell phones have this option these days.
    I hope your daughters situation gets better, but please reconsider the violence.

    Answer by 1lv2stks3nlz4ev at 11:47 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

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