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3 Bumps

Oy. I found someone on facebook, and now I have a dilemna. HELP!

I was 18 when I got pregnant, 19 when I started seeing a pregnancy counselor at a "local" adoption agency. She was freaking awesome. Long story short, I found out that the only reason she stayed working at the agency as long as she did was because of me - she left & moved less than 2 weeks after I had my baby (I was a complicated case ;) ). Anyway, a few years ago we were at a funeral and lo & behold, she was there! She'd been "fostered" by a lady who is sisters with a lady in our church, the mother of the person who's funeral we were attending. Well anyway, a light clicked today, and I found my pregnancy counselor on facebook just a little while ago. I want to friend her in the worst way, but I don't know if it's "right"??? No one who worked at the adoption agency when I was going there works there anymore, and I haven't been in contact with anyone there in years (since my adoption went open 9 years ago), so I have no one in that world to ask anymore. I AM friends with a lady who was a secretary there at the time, but I know anything to do with that place is a sore spot with her anymore so I don't dare ask her. Ack! Help! Do I?! Don't I?! She made the first "contact" at this funeral - if she hadn't called out to me I'd never have seen her. What do I do?!


Asked by Anonymous at 8:37 PM on Feb. 21, 2011 in Adoption

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Friend her, whats the worse that can happen, she decline your request?

    Answer by BabyBugsmama at 8:41 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • Just send her a message to say "hi". Let her friend you if she wants.


    Answer by ImaginationMama at 8:41 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • Friend her and go from there. If anything, she can always ignore or refuse your request. You make contact and maybe she'll make conversation. G'luck to you.

    Answer by Imortlmommy at 8:44 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • I agree with the other posters. What's the worst that can happen? She completely ignores you? If you are ready and can handle that rejection then go right ahead and try. You CAN add a message to your friend request to maybe jog her memory about you.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 8:54 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • friend her - if she doesnt' want to talk to talk she'll ignore your request

    Answer by autbot at 9:27 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • Okay, I remembered that DH's cousin works for the same place (different branch), so I talked to her. She said go for it, since the gal doesn't work there anymore - and like you all said, if she isn't up to it she'll decline. I went for it, it took a few tries (you know how teenagers will dial the phone then hang up multiple times, with their crush? in movies anyway lol), but I did it! Hopefully it doesn't take her long to accept or decline, lol! Thanks all!

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:41 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • I agree and say friend her. She would not have called out to you if she did not want you to notice her. It would have been easy for her to avoid you but she did not, go friend her you have to.

    Answer by dubewife at 2:06 AM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • I agree with the others to friend her.

    I also love that your adoption "went open". There is often a lot of accusations of adoptions closing so I love to hear an adoption going in the other direction.

    Answer by 2ndtimewish at 7:09 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • Definitely friend her. Good luck!

    Answer by ARgal at 11:20 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • I did and she accepted! Not sure if she remembers me though, she hasn't said anything, lol!

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:18 PM on Feb. 23, 2011