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Mother in laws...ahhhhh! how to deal with a mil who alienates my kid amoung 5 grandkids

how do i deal with a mil who time and time again alienates my almost 4 year old son among 5 grandkids. she makes more than ample time for all the kids including my son's brother, my step son who lives with us. she schedules her week around our schedule with my step son. she flies up north to visit 2 other grandkids and flies them here at least once a month and babysits for another 1 1/2 year old grandson 2 days a week. ever since my son was young we would ask for babysitting help and there was always a reason why she couldn't help out yet she goes above and beyond for all the other grandkids. she most recently fly 2 of the other grandkids into town and is expecting us to change our plans to go to her house (30 mins away-not too far) and is now blaming us for not "wanting" our son to go to her house. i try to just avoid her and go about our lives as she always trys to corner me with questions about my husband. help how to deal with this irritating mil!!!!

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:22 PM on Feb. 21, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (3)
  • I'm sorry she is doing this to your son- i would have a nice little chat with her & tell her if she can not treat your son the exact same way she treats the rest of the grandchildren then she is not welcome in your family's life! There is No Way i would deal with that!


    Answer by daisyb at 10:29 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • Parents are not obliged to treat their adult children the same way, nor are they obliged to treat their grandchildren fairly. Sad, but true.

    Nor are you obliged to continuously try to foster a relationship between your mother-in-law and your son. You married your husband, not his mother. In the future, refer all her questions and phone calls to him, and don't deal with her anymore. It's sad that it's affecting your child, but it might serve to show that life always isn't fair...

    Answer by GoodyBrook at 11:03 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • She knew when you married her son that you already have a child. But that also makes her a grandmother to your child too by marriage. She needs to realize that your son has feelings too and he will eventually figure it out on his own when he gets old enough and sees the difference in how he is treated vs. the other grandkids. It's not fair to him or you, and your husband should talk to her about what she is doing. If he doesn't then why isn't he?

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:59 AM on Feb. 22, 2011

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