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What do you do when you just feel like you don't have anything in common anymore?

My hubby and I have been married for 5 years. And all we do is argue about everything. Especially when it comes down to our 2 year old. I am with my daughter ALL of the time. He really doesn't help with her. When she was first born I had to practically beg him to change her diaper. And now even that she's older and alittle more independent he still has a rough time with her. I teach her EVERYTHING he does nothing. Its not only that I just feel like sometimes I'm taking care of two kids. I don't about the rest of you but when I got married I didnt sign on to be a maid, a second mother, or a doormatt. I have tried to talk about counseling and he doesnt want to go. He says he'll try to change but never does. I can't do this for the rest of my life. What do I do?

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:15 AM on Nov. 19, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • oh god this sounds like my life every other day except we dont have children.
    But god that sounds EXACTLY like my life. I guess you'll have to decide to leave, or to stay. Its a hard choice especially with a child, but YOU need to put you first.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:25 AM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • Um, anon- why are you on here if you dont have children??

    Anywho- sounds like you need better communication- and some sex. Not trying to be a smart ass, but whenever its "been a while" for us because of life in general, we start to fight and get ugly with each other and I feel the same way you described. It sounds as if you both need more time together- date night, something.

    Answer by ZoeKatsMom at 8:38 AM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • no it is more then just sex i am in the same situation. it is hurtful, it is tiring and it feels like seriously you are a maid instead of a wife.i have a 16 14 and one year old and my children take better care of them selves then my husband does it is a pathetic situation. i don't have any advice i am sorry. good luck to you

    Answer by jodi205 at 8:46 AM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • he needs to get off his ass and grow up. my husband is the same way.
    were working on it more now, because he is in the navy, and when he comes home, my daughter cries her butt off cause she doesnt recognize her own father. its so sad, that it actually got to him.
    maybe he needs a wake up call. u know ur husband more than anyone, so im sure u can think of something to make him realize that he needs to be more involved with your family. if he doesnt realize it, leave him for a while. maybe that will give him a wake up call. good luck.

    Answer by kiliki_malie at 9:09 AM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • I know exactly what you mean by maid and second mother. I have been going through the same thing until recently. My husband was a over the road truck driver until about a year ago. He started driving locally so he is home everyday by 4 pm or so. I got a part time job and now he has the kids in the evening he has to cook, make sure homework is done and baths are taken. And everyone is in bed at a certain time. He is now talking to me about the same thing that I use to try and talk to him about. As far as kids go. He explained to me about a month ago that he is sorry and that he understands now where I am coming from. I dont know if this is an option for you but I got tired of arguing with him about helping out with the kids and I take matters into my own hands I just went out and got a job. It worked out great I get to interact with adults a little extra money and the understanding now that he has to deal with kids.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:00 AM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • I feel ya, I refer to myself as a Married-Single Mom. I don't have any advice, I just hope that it gets better with time & DD growing up. I, personally am not ready to give up on marriage over it. I know first hand what divorce does to a child. But no one can answer the question for you, you have to do what you feel is best for you and your child. Good Luck!

    Answer by raegansmom at 11:12 AM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • Well, it takes two of you to make this work...if one of you is unhappy then the other has a problem weather they like it or not. I would make it clear how you feel in no uncertain terms and tell him it is counseling or you need to make other arrangements for the rest of your life.

    Answer by salexander at 1:10 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

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