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How can I get along with teenage son

My teenage son who used to be so nice and kind and we got along great hates me. He hates everything about me, what I do how I look and even how I open a bag of potato chips. I try to talk to him and he gets mad and says I'm yelling. What can I do to help him see I am the parent and he's not going to run his life as he wants to coming and going and doing wahtever he pleases without it being a major battle?

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CwbysLdi

Asked by CwbysLdi at 4:54 AM on Feb. 22, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Level 6 (122 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • he's at an age where nothing mom and dad says goes in his mind. You just have to be consistent and do the right thing for him without being over the top. He'll thank you for it when he gets older.
    SweetLoveofMine

    Answer by SweetLoveofMine at 4:59 AM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • Explain to him WHY you are doing the things you are doing. Because it is best for hima nd you love him. Make sure you treat him respectfully as well.
    SweetLoveofMine

    Answer by SweetLoveofMine at 5:00 AM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • Teenagers are hard, I was exactly that way with my Mom, I think alot of it is the age. I do have a 16 yr old too and they just go through things like that where Mom is no good. I try to take mine with when i go somewhere and it does give us an oppurtunity to talk, I find out the best info then. but every teenaager is different and sometimes it is best to give him some space and not to push it so hard. If you try to force it on him and make him to stuff then it will push him farther away. I mean still have your rules and do not let him think he can run your life but just try to be there for him. Sometimes just out of the blue i text my son and just see how he is doing. even if he is in his room listening to music. Just be patient with him and he will grow out of it. Good luck. :)
    jenn4443

    Answer by jenn4443 at 5:03 AM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • I read this great book called "Get Out of My Life, but First Could You Drive Me & Cheryl to the Mall: A Parent's Guide to the New Teenager" I have never read a self help book before, although my pediatrician recommended this one, she read it and it was great. I explains how as teenagers kids want to be independent while still needing rules.


     Also, how old is he? my oldest is 14 and he has just started to turn the corner from hate to like again, while my 12 year old is in the hating everything phase. I do think trying to talk to him is a good thing, although at times maybe backing off a little might help. Let him come to you, say something like "I am here for you if you need me." Just let him know that you love him and that you are there for him.


     Good Luck!

    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 8:39 AM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • I read the book "The 7 Things Your Teenager Won't Tell You; And How To Talk About Them Anyway" . While the book is great in providing real life situations and conversations, the main thing I pulled from this is the three rules that are important to enforce when you have teenagers: Be Safe, Stay in Touch, and Show Respect. I had a long talk with my son one day after we had another argument and I refused to let him go with his friends due to the fact he wouldn't tell me what his plans were and then became rude about it. I expressed how much I loved him, how it hurt my feelings when he talked to me that way, how I feared we wouldn't have a good relationship when he left home etc...Then expressed the three rules and why they are important to me and to him. I haven't had a problem since. The rules are easy and we have a great relationship now. He's 16; we talk all the time and are very close.
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 10:43 AM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • Just wanted to add, I think its important for teens to understand how their attitude and words affect us as parents. When I shared my fears with my son, it brought it him to tears. I have a horrible relationship with my parents, and my fear is that it will be the same with my son. I told him this, I told him how much I fear him leaving for college and never calling or coming home. I told him how I ask so little of him (gave examples: wash dishes, pick up your mess, take out the trash, tell me who, where, when and why when you're going out) and then provided examples of how much I do for him...(allowing him his freedom because I trust him, working with the school to ensure he has a good future, providing him money when he needs it, helping him excel in sports by sending him to the camps he wants). He cried after the conversation, and told me how much he loved me. Sometimes they need reminded we are human and we love them.
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 10:47 AM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • ME TOO are going threw the same things with my 16 old son. He Hates me until he wants money or a ride.
    kalynskorner

    Answer by kalynskorner at 12:39 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • Get him concert tickets, and have an uncle or responsible older male that you trust take him. Believe me he will be thinking about how that maybe mom isnt soo bad. This is the same thing that happened with my mom. I felt like she trusted me to go to a concert, and the whole time I was thinking how that my mom wasnt soo bad. we started getting a long a little better after that.
    1Angeland3Girls

    Answer by 1Angeland3Girls at 12:47 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

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