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How can I get my mother-in-law to stop calling me so often?

For some reason that I cannot seem to fathom, my husband gave his mother my phone number...I don't know why and I'm smart enough to know that if I ask him why it will cause a problem. I wouldnt mind her having my number if she used to only when she needed to but....she calls me EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!!! and it's driving me crazy! She calls just to talk, she calls to let me know she's going to send cookies home with my daughter, she calls to talk to Richie, she calls and says she knows he's at work but she wanted him to know yadda, yadda, yadda....that's why there is voicemail. I'm already not her biggest fan for other reasons....please if someone has a polite, respectful way of asking her to back off it would be greatly appreciated.


Asked by Lucky209 at 6:38 AM on Feb. 22, 2011 in Relationships

Level 28 (35,060 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I agree it might be hard to tell her not to call although letting it go into voice mail and ignoring it might work. I have the same problem with my MIL and I am not her biggest fan either. When she calls if I can answer the phone I try to be polite, although that is very hard. I think the reason why my MIL calls is because she is retired, has not many friends and is bored. If I don't feel like talking to her I just don't answer the phone. I don't work so I can't really use that as a reason.

     Usually i tell her I am busy with school function or I just tell her I couldn't answer the phone. I don't think she needs to know what I am doing every moment of every day and if she calls to ask about my DH I say "I don't know he is working and I have not talked to him."

    Good Luck!


    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 7:12 AM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • Just don't answer when you see it's he calling.

    Answer by Syphon at 6:47 AM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • u r going to look bad no matter how polite u say anything choose a ringtone 4 her and lie ur @ss off , no signal, no battery, left in the car, left in the desk, left in vib mode she will get tired soon you can blame the mommy brain for keep forgetting ur cell if hubby calls immediately after her IS A TRAP !!! jk lol

    Answer by gou18 at 7:05 AM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • From your two posts I gather she is calling to ascertain that you are okay. You may not need her daily attention, but she needs to know that her son's wife and future mother to her grandchild is okay. Physically and mentally. It is a mother's job to take care of people and this is her way to take care of her son and his family. You do not work outside the home and you are at high risk pregnancy so why not give her 10 or 15 minutes a day. I can think of alot worse problems with mother in laws. Remember you are going to be a mil someday and you do not know what you will be doing. I do not think she is causing any real problems. Let this be an opportunity for your relationship to grow.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 7:40 AM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • My daughter had the same problem with her mother-in-law. She told her, she can't talk at work and had a limited amount of minutes during the day, so please just leave a message on voice mail. Now she lets all her calls go to voice mail and has DH reply later in the evening. She eventually stopped calling her for nonsense. Good luck.

    Answer by Justmom223 at 6:46 AM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • Honestly...I'm not sure there is a right way to do this...either way you are going to end up looking mean. Just don't answer or when you do explain to her that you are super busy and can't talk right now. My mil used to call everyday 3 or 4 times a day....I resolved that problem by not answering my phone when she called....when my husband was asked why I didn't answer, he told her...she was probably busy or just didn't feel like it. Now she calls once a week when she knows hubby isn't home and it's usually to make sure I'm okay and things are going good (we actually get a long now, but she knows she doesn't have to keep in constant contact with me because I can take care of her son perfectly fine without talking to her daily) Good Luck, I know how hard it is having to deal with an issue like this.

    Answer by kitchenwitch78 at 6:46 AM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • I don't work either and since I'm a high risk pregnancy I can't really get out as often as I would like so unfortunatly she knows I'm home lol....I WISH I knew why she feels like she needs to call me so often....I know she's not lonely, her other son still lives with her (even though he's 28 yrs old lol) and the few times I've decided to just ignore her call she kicks it up a notch and then I'll get a call from hubby letting me know that his mother is trying to call me...I swear it's enough to make me want to rip my hair out lol

    Comment by Lucky209 (original poster) at 7:18 AM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • She is probably calling to entertain you. She may think you are not getting a lot of adult interaction because you can't get out so she is calling a lot to be nice. I can understand your side of it though sometimes during bed rest you really want to be left alone. And other times thing just annoy you more because you can't get away from anything. Nothing was worse for me when I was on bed rest than multiple calls in a day from everyone trying to check on me.


    Answer by Alanaplus3 at 8:18 AM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • Pick the time of day you are willing to chat and take that call only. Let the others go to voicemail. You need to have a chat with your husband and tell him you have a personal limit to the number of calls you can take. Be nice and calm about it. GL

    Answer by elizabr at 9:10 AM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • At least she doesn't hate you.

    Your husband may have told her that was the number to call you with. Some people use a cell as their main number, others consider it more private.
    I know it could be a pain to do, but you could see about getting another number, but don't give it to her.
    if nothing else, you could not pick up when she calls. As far as the voice mail goes, if you don't want to listen to her messages, then don't. When you are clearing messages and you hear her voice just erase it.

    makes me wonder if your husband gave her the number so she will call you and not him ;)

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 10:16 AM on Feb. 22, 2011