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Should he stay or should he go. . . . .

I feel stupid even just asking this, but my hormones are running my emotions around & i'm sure one day, then not the next. My boyfriend is staying with me & my son (3 yrs). Things went well till he gave up his job to start at new company, the company was liquodated before he could start! 5 months later still no job & feels like he is not trying. I see him looking for work via net & he goes to interviews but has not had any luck yet. I found out I am pregnant 2 weeks ago & since then it's like he thinks that he can now rest on his laurels! I get home from work yesterday & he is still sleeping!!! I at least expect that he will cook dinner or tidy up a bit or something!!!??? I have now resorted to giving him an ultimatum - a paycheck or proof of a permanent job (contract, etc.) by end of Feb which is now only 6 days away (I gave him 'notice' in beginning of month) or he moves out & will only have contact with me or his unborn child once he can contribute financially. Too harsch or should i stick to my guns?? I don't want to be caught in a weak moment. Men are so good at preying on those emotions. Any alternative's??


Asked by Hope871 at 7:41 AM on Feb. 22, 2011 in Relationships

Level 3 (18 Credits)
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Answers (4)
  • Maybe he was sick that day he slept in real late? If you are seeing him actively looking for a job and going for interviews then he probably is trying it's not that easy to find a job right now, but I can understand not wanting to support him, if it were me, I would tell him that I can't support him anymore that I have enough on my plate, being pregnant I will soon have another person to support and he needs to make other arangments. I wouldn't refuse to talk to him or threaten to not let him see his child once they are born, I think telling him he as to leave is going to be hard enough on him

    Answer by Liz132 at 7:57 AM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • In 5 months, he could have been working at McDonalds. There are a lot of temp positions that are looking for grunt work.

    I don't think that you were wrong in this. He has taken long enough. If he cannot even be a "house wife" then he is living off of you.

    Does he watch your son or do you have to pay someone to watch him? That is the first job I would give the BF. If he isn't working, he can take care of the child.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 8:18 AM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • There are lots of places that he could get a job. Even if it is seasonal. I heard yesterday that Home Depot and Lowe's are getting ready to hire for spring help and let me tell you that retail isn't exactly fun, but it will bring a paycheck and if he works hard enough they a more than likely going to keep him on after the season is done.

    Answer by coala at 8:23 AM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • While I see your point & understand your concerns, giving someone a month to find a job in this economy may not be realistic. Having said that, he needs to be actively seeking employment EVERY day, AND contributing around the house. If he cant manage those things, then it may be time to send him packing. GL

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 7:50 AM on Feb. 22, 2011

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