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Should i be all worked up and mad?

ok so years ago, my grandpa died and i was still married at that time, instead of making it to my grandpa's funeral, my husband decided it was best to go to work because he couldnt take a day off just for that. I had to explain to my own dad how i cant drive and i had nobody to take me. The response didnt turn out well.

now his dad is in the hospital and we're hoping he doesnt die because he is almost to that point. My husband now doesnt drive (because of other reasons, whole 'nother story) and i STILL dont drive and once he found out his dad has to stay the night in the hospital, him and his brother (the driver) decides to TRY to get to work but because of the snowstorm, they turn around and head back home.

My husband told his boss that they got stuck and the boss wondered if they were coming in later when the roads could possibly be plowed, my husband told him that he rather not because his dad is in the hospital and he would like to see him.

should i be all mad and worked up that my husband can do this for his dad but not my grandpa?


Asked by americansugar80 at 8:54 AM on Feb. 22, 2011 in Relationships

Level 22 (12,423 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (20)
  • I can see why you would be upset but I can understand your husbands point of view. I think its more of a miscommunication thing. If you told your husband how much your grandfather meant to you and you needed him to be there and he ignored how you felt and still went to work, that is different to me. He would have been insensitive to your needs. But if you didn't make a big deal of it then I can see why he would rather work to bring in income since it was not his grandparent that passed. His parent dying is a big deal for him so i can see why he would insist on going.

    Answer by AmyLynn5398 at 9:07 AM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • It's his father. Of course he is going to feel differently about it than your grandfather. Yes, you're overreacting.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:56 AM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • I can see where you would feel hurt, as he did not seem that interested in your situation with grandpa, but now with his dad he is all 'I have to be there'. I imagine that with your grandpa he may not have really known him, or been close to the situation, so he was able to 'put it out of his mind' and carry on with his usual life---even though it would have been nice if he would have put you first and been there for you (and take you to the funeral). Now that it is his dad, someone that he is close to and loves I imagine he is feeling what you did- the "I need to be there" and have closure, make peace. I would let him know though that 'this is how I felt with grandpa, I wish you would have been there for me and taken my feelings more seriously'. Maybe now he will 'get' what you felt then, and hopefully the 2 of you can put the past in the past, be there for each other now, and move on with life.

    Answer by MizLee at 9:16 AM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • i would be mad, but with the condition his father is now i dont know if i would start the whole fued now. good luck

    Answer by jodi205 at 8:58 AM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • I would! one sided selfish man you got.

    Answer by older at 8:58 AM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • you have every right to feel how your feeling. and if i lived around you or knew you i would have made sure you got to your grandpas funeral.

    Answer by jodi205 at 9:10 AM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • your dad is just going to have to get over that. sometimes our jobs have to come first. our jobs is what keeps us living...missing one day could put us in a hole!! some people can't just take off when they like.

    Answer by shay1130 at 9:11 AM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • I'm sorry you didn't get to go to your grandpas funeral. I didn't get that part in your original post. I would have been upset with him for that, but I do understand that he wasn't going to not go see his father. I thought that you were upset that he didnt' go see your grandpa and did see his dad.
    Either way I hope things work out for you. Loosing people is so hard.

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 9:56 AM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • so im over reacting because his side is more important? are we in some sort of competition now?

    Comment by americansugar80 (original poster) at 8:59 AM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • are we talking about 2 different husbands here? i'm confused

    Answer by shay1130 at 8:59 AM on Feb. 22, 2011