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Friendship problems

What can you do to keep a friendship, when other person does things that she denies. I have confronted, she denies everything. She boasts about everything, she always has the nicest things, her kids are always better, smarter, more talented, has more things. It started affecting my daughter, and I just had to say something. I thought if we just ignore it, maybe she will stop. Well, it didn't and I stood up for my daughter and it caused a huge mess. This lady helped me through a year of deployment while my husband was gone. She was there for me, but it wasn't until the last few months, if I needed something, then she needed help too and by God whatever she needed better be done like yesterday. She is a single mother of 3, her husband left her for her best friend about 2 years ago. I keep thinking there is some jealousy now that my husband is back? Thus the boasting and she is superior to my kids and I. Hmmm any advice on what to do?

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aebrown

Asked by aebrown at 9:19 AM on Feb. 22, 2011 in Relationships

Level 5 (61 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • yeah...get a new friend.
    jewjewbee

    Answer by jewjewbee at 9:21 AM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • Why would you want to salvage a friendship if she is like that?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:21 AM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • She is toxic.
    tiddliwinks

    Answer by tiddliwinks at 9:21 AM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • Sadly, I need to agree with the previous posters. Friendships are two-sided. This relationship doesn't sound like that. :(
    Nonoluna

    Answer by Nonoluna at 9:24 AM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • Toss her on the curb it can only get better if you tell her the truth if this does not help tell her to kick rocks. Gl momma
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 9:25 AM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • you mentioned that she was there for you while your hubby was deployed so for this reason i think you should give the friendship one LAST try. you should sit her down and tell her how u feel. I if she takes offense to it, move on because she won't change and will keep using you and your kids as a punching bag with her toxic attitude.
    gwen20

    Answer by gwen20 at 9:26 AM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • She's probably feeling very insecure about the whole thing and trying to make herself feel better by attempting to 'look better' than you.

    My mother has gone through something like that. She tried dating a married guy (dumb idea I know) and was devastated when the whole thing went belly up.
    Then she lost her job of almost 30 years and things starting going really badly for her.
    My sister and her friend went over there to help her clean up her 'depression mess' as we called it, and from what I hear it was really bad. My sister asked me to not tell mom that I'd heard about it, and I didn't.
    Right around that time I started getting calls from my mom saying things like 'I hope you are keeping your house better then when I was over there'
    She's go on an on about how great things were with her when it was actually a lie and pick at things about me.
    People do that to make themselves feel better.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:49 AM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • I'm sure her boasting is rooted in her own insecurities and jealousy. Some people don't feel good about themselves unless they put others down or try to make themselves feel superior in some way, so it's really coming from feeling bad or inadequate themselves--at least most of the time. Sometimes we have to let toxic friends go or if they will be in our lives no matter what we can change the friendship and limit our interaction with them if possible. If you think she needs help or she's depressed or anything like that, you could try talking to her about her behavior in a non-confrontational way. If that doesn't work and the friendship continues in this manner, then you might need to walk away. You'll just have to judge whether it's worth trying to save the friendship or if you have to let her go, but it can only be saved if you both try to fix the problems you're having.
    pam19

    Answer by pam19 at 9:50 AM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • Try talking to her face to face again, if you value her friendship. Explain that you would like to renew your friendship, but remind her of what caused the friendship to be strained or fall apart. Be supportive and understanding and ask her to be the same for you. Once you've "put everything on the table" in an honest and open way, leave her alone and give her time to process. If she's a true friend, she will want to mend fences and work on healing the relationship. If she doesn't make a first move, I'd contact her one more time. Again, if she takes no initiative to make amends, I'd take the "3 strikes, you're out" attitude and move on.
    rosiemendo

    Answer by rosiemendo at 11:31 AM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • I had a situation almost like this, friendship should be encouraging, and healthy. A friendship should bring u up, and not let you down. A true friend woul never hurt u intentionally even when they are hurt.
    RosaLeen

    Answer by RosaLeen at 10:14 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

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