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How do you explain to your 3 year old where daddy is?

He walks around some days saying. Daddy's at work. Daddy doesn't love me. Daddy does love me. Where's Daddy?

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AequitasVeritas

Asked by AequitasVeritas at 9:20 AM on Feb. 22, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 9 (308 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • You tell him the truth wherever daddy is, trying not to burst his bubble too much.
    older

    Answer by older at 9:22 AM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • tell him daddy does love, but daddy's gone.
    kitchenwitch78

    Answer by kitchenwitch78 at 9:22 AM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • I just tell them. At that age they were old enough to understand what I was saying & knew that daddy was either at work or wherever. Of course they didn't like it & wanted daddy home immediately but they knew he would come eventually to give them lots of hugs and kisses!

    saucymami

    Answer by saucymami at 9:23 AM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • Now why would a 3 yr old even know to say daddy doesn't love me? Kids don't associate daddy not being in the room with daddy doesn't love me. Someone had to tell him that. And to compare does love and doesn't love? Please. They can't think in the abstract like that. It's not your job to explain daddy and daddy's behavior. Just say I don't know. That is honest. Let dad explain himself
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:26 AM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • Bake some cookies together, have him make shapes and let him put in the choc. chips and mix it.
    let him give some cookies to daddy when he gets home, but after he takes a nap.
    then each day he thinks daddy doesn't still love him, let him send a homemade picture with( "paint" from windows )from the computer to the "save as'' setting, so when daddy gets home he can look at the nice artwork that Little Junior made.
    coffeeyum

    Answer by coffeeyum at 9:27 AM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • Please. They can't think in the abstract like that.
    ----------------------------------

    Yes, they can. Don't know what planet you live on, but if you do have children I feel for the fact that you know NOTHING about human development.


    OP- you simply tell him the truth, in words he can comprehend. I'm divorced, and though they don't ask these questions anymore, they used to. I simply told them the truth.
    As for 'daddy doesn't love me'.... well, kids use that as a tool to get what they want. They also associate a lack of interaction with someone being displeased, and love is one of those concepts that they DO understand but often associate with pleasure. ie if daddy isn't spending time with me, he must be mad = he doesn't love me. They don't usually have the vocabulary to explain their emotions in depth.
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 9:37 AM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • The only time I ever got the "you don't love me" at age 3.75 it was due to another kid saying "my mom loves me, she picks me up early at daycare. Doesn't your mom love you?" It had an outside source.
    ellenoel

    Answer by ellenoel at 9:26 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • I tell him Daddy loves him but can't be here right now. But does he understand that? Why "Daddy" chooses not to be here is a whole different story that isn't relevant to this question. I'm not sure daddy is ever gonna be there to see him grow up, however, who knows. He may decide to grow some and see him.
    AequitasVeritas

    Comment by AequitasVeritas (original poster) at 10:21 AM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • Anonymous: He could understand it. Have you ever taken a psych class...check this website out. It's very informative...

    http://www.learningplaceonline.com/stages/organize/Erikson.htm
    AequitasVeritas

    Comment by AequitasVeritas (original poster) at 10:27 AM on Feb. 28, 2011

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