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When am I going to get my son?!?

I have been waiting patiently for 3 years going to almost every training there is and I still haven't gotten my son. We want to adopt a boy from 0-8 years old even if he has on other sibling we will adopt him/her as well. I just don't understand why there is such a long wait!


Asked by Anonymous at 11:40 AM on Feb. 22, 2011 in Adoption

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Answers (32)
  • OP of course you are not praying some child is out there who is being abused. That is like saying cancer doctors pray for people to get cancer. They pray for a cure. But in the mean time they treat the person living with cancer. And waiting parents provide a home for a child who needs one. The frustration with waiting parents is knowing there is a child or children who would be safe and provided for, appropriately, in their home. That for that child you can provide and meet their specific needs. Given, unfortunately, how wide spread abuse is, it is not illogical to KNOW some where out there is a child in danger. Recently in the news was a child locked in the bathroom for many years and only let out for school. During all those years she was held prisoner there were waiting homes knowing some situation like hers is out there. We hurt for these kids, we don't hope or hunt for

    Answer by frogdawg at 7:42 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • Because you're not the only one in line. Society has this misinformation that there are just babies sitting around someplace waiting for good homes. This isn't the case. There is a long wait for babies. Even young children who are in foster care have to wait for their parents rights to be terminated. This takes time. If you aren't doing foster care & just wait for a child who is available for adoption, the wait is long. Also wanting a specific sex of child can also factor into making the wait longer.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:34 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • Adoption should be about the needs of the child, not yours.
    Are you seriously whining because a child hasn't been removed from their family for you?

    It should NOT be about you. It should be about what's best for the CHILD.

    You are NOT entitled to children just because you want one.

    Answer by Piskie at 3:49 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • I don't think the OP is "whining" at all. His/her age group is 0-8. Not at all the precious babies that everyone seems to get so worked up over. Also, I think there are plenty of 8 year olds already removed from their home, sitting in foster care, waiting for a forever family. I'm sure this is the child that the OP is waiting for. What's best for the child is a forever family, not bouncing around foster homes!

    Answer by Gandeluv at 6:15 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • I don't think many pregnant women are giving birth to 8 year olds.

    Answer by Gandeluv at 11:00 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • "hugs"...keep strong, and if this is in your heart, don't give up. I waited years to adopt I know your heartache, and pain. Just by word of mouth through friends of friends I was blessed with my son. If you need a friend or someone to listen you can message me. Trust God, sending prayers.

    Answer by Kellyjude1 at 5:30 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • For these kids. We just pray that when we become aware of a child who needs a home and parents that we can be the ones to meet their needs. I doubt seriously any woman lies awake at night hoping another child is mistreated so they can expand their family.

    Answer by frogdawg at 7:45 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • I wish you luck with your wait, and know that waiting is not easy. I believe that with adoption things happen for a reason. I know you have been waiting for a long time, but that just means that your child hasn't found you yet. Best wishes with your Adoption journey.

    Answer by kbrownie101 at 5:13 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • Don't worry about the haters. There are some first/natural/birth mothers here on CM who appear to be very opposed to adoption. Just remember that every action has its critics. Hold fast to your goal.

    I have had foster parents tell me that the key to finding a placement is to make sure that you are fresh in the social worker's mind. You might want to try to give the social worker weekly calls. Or, even take her out to lunch to ask more about foster adoption.

    Good luck!

    Answer by ARgal at 11:17 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • I know it seems long and the wait is hard. Hang in there. Go to the local online gallery of available and waiting children. Besides the profiles posted online there are more children waiting who are available. If you are an approved home through your state and put in an inquary on a specific child then you should get a response back about why or why not it would be a good match. Usually there are waiting children with parental rights terminated - in my county even infants for lack of homes who do not want younger kids. But waiting kids can be medically fragile, have special needs, be part of a sibling set, be a race that is different from yours, ect... So you may have to be proactive in your journey towards expanding your family. Let your case worker know, frequently, what you know you can handle. In my area transracial adoptions are frowned upon but they

    Answer by frogdawg at 8:19 AM on Feb. 23, 2011