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How to get my 8 year old to stop lieing?

My daughter is 8 year's old. I feel guilty to say this because I feel like I'm talking bad about her. But ..
She is the biggest lier I have ever met. She doesn't get it from me, I don't lie, even if I wanted to lie, I couldn't.. I always laugh if I try lieing.
I asked her why she lies about this little stuff, stuff she wouldn't even be in trouble about. Like recently she told me that her younger sister put stickers on her dresser, when she didn't. Or that her friend's mother know's me, but she doesn't.
But then she also lies about serious things.
I've grounded her, took her out of ballet that day, swatted her butt, no sleepovers.. nothing works.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:50 AM on Feb. 22, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (4)
  • I would try to find out the reason she lies. Children lie for all kinds of reasons. It may be just for the attention she gets from doing it. That's kind of what it sounds like, but there may be another reason. You will have to have some really in depth conversations with her in order to get to the bottom of it, but that's what I would do. Also, does her father lie? She may be identifying with someone who does lie, and you said it wasn't you, so ask yourself who else it could be. Could be some friend she plays with, goes to school with, and has somehow identified herself with that person. You will just have to play detective, but you can discover the reason and then deal with the root. In the meantime, I would punish for the lying because you cannot let her think that it is ever okay to lie.

    Answer by NannyB. at 11:57 AM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • No her father doesn't lie. Not sure about anyone at school.
    I'll ask her who taught her how to lie.. and she'll lie about that! I asked if she lied about who she learned it from and she gives me one of those blank stares and then starts crying and tells me she lied. I asked her why and she just says "I don't know."

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:09 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • My 7 yr old does it all the time too. I feel its because he wants attention. Sometimes I think he's just bored and likes making up stories. If he lies about something like hitting his brother or breaking stuff things like that we punish him.

    Answer by ericadorsey83 at 4:27 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • This is completely normal (and annoying) 8 year old behavior. She needs to see what she can get away with. When my dd tried lying to me, I stopped believing everything she said and lectured about honesty until her eyes glazed over, several times.
    Some things would be like if she said her room was clean, I'd have to say, "I don't believe you. I need to check it." or if she said she put the dishes away, "I can't believe you, I have to check it." and every time she said anything, I let her know I couldn't trust or believe her any more. She HATED it. Lesson learned. She stopped lying.

    Answer by Pnukey at 8:30 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

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