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The birthday "status quo"

recently my kids were invited to a birthday party. the time was from 12-2. I didn't feed the kids their lunch before hand, thinking there would be food there. cuz after all, it IS during lunch time. dh and i even had an, well, i wouldn't call it an argument, it was more of one of those "laughing arguments" kwim? where he was hungry and said what if there wasnt' food there, and i told him it was lunch time, there would be, ect.

for those of you who have no idea what i'm talking about (which is part of my question) the "status quo" is if you have a party during a "meal time" (breakfast, lunch, dinner) you have food. if the party is between the meals (say about 10/11ish or 2/3ish) then it's finger foods, as not to spoil the childs appitite for the next meal.

turns out HE WAS RIGHT! they had finger foods (chips, veggie tray, cheese tray, cake and ice cream. that's it) we left starving and went straight out to eat.

to make sure the "status quo" was still "in", i was with a friend later that night and mentioned it. she couldn't believe they didn't have food at lunch time.(they don't know each other so she wasn't there with her kids) so at least i know i wasn't going crazy. i've never been to a party where they didn't have food, unless of course it was a "between the meals" time.

before you get all rash on me about "what if they couldn't afford it"...they have a big close nit family. last year for my dd's bday we couldn't afford much so we asked our close family to bring something, a side dish or something. we did the "main course", and we ended up with tons of food. (that, and the dad of the birthday child even mentioned jokingly that they should order pizza, and the mom was like "you want to??" and he said no, and she said "ok cuz we already have food"...this was right at the beginning of the party (not at the home, they had it at a kids place) at the time i didn't realize she meant the finger foods...)

what do you do? does it matter to you what time the party is? do you not have food even if it is at a "meal time"? i'm really curious, as i've always know this to be the "rule of thumb" for birthday parties. everyone i've talked to with kids knows this. if not, do you at least put in the invitation that there won't be a "meal" involved, so the parents know to feed the kids beforehand?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:47 PM on Feb. 22, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (6)
  • Oh, I totally agree with you. If the party is at meal time then I assume there will be food that is substantial enough for a meal. A party from 12-2 I would have expected lunch of some sort to be served, and if it won't be then the invite should state something like "Snacks and cake will be served" so people know to eat beforehand. Especially when children are involved, because who wants hungry kids getting cranky?

    Answer by MaryMW at 12:52 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • i agree with you... and if they couldnt afford it they should have adjusted the time of the party.

    we do very well and CAN afford it but I really dont want to mess with it so I have always had my parties end by 11 or started them later.

    Answer by sahlady at 1:16 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • If it falls at a meal time then there should be food, but I would also ask if it doesn't say anything on the invite. My son was just invited to a sled riding party from 11-2 and the invite specifically said pizza, pop, and hot cocoa would be provided.

    Answer by aeneva at 2:31 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • I personally think all parties should include food, and I agree if the party is two hours and those are the lunch hours then there should be food, or at least a nice way of implying no food should have been on the card like "save some room from lunch, cake and icecream will be served". Alot of these kids places that run parties run on a treadwheel in out style where they don't incorporate any time for food into the party, which I don't like but I guess between 2 and 4 that works.

    Answer by hotelmom123 at 2:46 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • You are right, they should have had more than finger foods for a meal time. If they couldn't afford food then have the party earlier or later and state that munchies will be provided.

    You are not crazy :)

    Answer by choco_mom at 2:51 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • I agree. I'd NEVER have a birthday party without serving a meal to my guests.

    Answer by KairisMama at 3:27 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

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