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My husband's ex is around... a lot.

They have a daughter together who lives with us & her family lives down the street from his parents. They were together since they were 15 so she's very close to his family but I feel like they like her better & I sort of get left out when we're all together like this weekend for the daughter's birthday party, his uncle asked me to move behind everyone so he could take pictures but she was front & center helping the daughter open the presents my husband and i bought her. Not happy.

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krissymamaof2

Asked by krissymamaof2 at 11:32 AM on Nov. 19, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (5)
  • I wouldn't be happy either..personally being the bi*tch I am I would say something to my husband and ask him how he thinks his family treats me...then if he agrees with me I would say something to his family...but if he doesn't agree with you that would just bring another huge issue up so GOOD LUCK
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:35 AM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • I guess because she is the mom of her, don't take it personal just be yourself and let some time go by they will eventually see the sweet person that you are.
    I am sure if it was your child they were celebrating I bet her ass would had had to go to the back...lol Don't make it something it is not you will go crazy I know exactly how you feel been there done that. Now my in laws say that my husband won the lottery when he met me...that made me feel sooooo special. She is out and I am in. Just be yourself.
    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 11:48 AM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • I would not be happy either if that happened to me. I would have a long talk with my husband expressing my feelings and give him the opportunity to deal with the situation.  If he did not deal with it then I would say something to his family.  How can they not see so many things wrong with that.  I wouldn't ever be comfortable socializing with her.  She is the ex and you are the wife and daughter in law.  I have children with my ex, but we don't have birthday's for the kids together.  He does his thing and we do ours.  I would put my foot down you are not wrong for being unhappy!

    RhondaJ

    Answer by RhondaJ at 11:52 AM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • My DH's cousin's ex is like that. They were married really young and have two girls, she is at all the family things. Her new DH is friends with DH's cousin, comes to all the parties, hunting and other family things. The new wife is really having issues with it because she said she'd like to do one thing without her being there! :D I feel kind of bad for her, because I certainly wouldn't want to be face to face with my DH's ex every time I turn around! Perhaps the uncle thought a pic with mom & dad is something the child would like for the future. I don't think bringing it up will make it better, it will only make you look jealous. Just grin and bear it, they'll come around. GL
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 11:57 AM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • SD knows that both her parents love her and sees her family acting in a healthy way. Having her mother around for birthday parties or special days is not a bad thing - just the opposite. However, you do deserve to set some boundaries in regards to your feelings. That is what you do in your home. You can't control your in-laws and who they choose to have a relationship with. So talk to your husband, set up what works in your home, invite your in-laws to activities that do not include his ex and create new memories that foster a good relationship, hold some holiday events at your home and invite the ex- to breakfast or lunch out and then go back home and do your family thing. Smile when at family events with her and do make sure that the camera person snaps the correct pictures for the sake of history so SD remembers who got what.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 12:01 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

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