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Parenting conflicts?

How many of you have parenting conflicts? Like mommy against daddy sort of thing. When mommy says no or is disciplining child and daddy gets his two sense in and total undermines you! What do you do about it? How do you handle it?

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arobert29

Asked by arobert29 at 2:16 PM on Feb. 22, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 6 (150 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • My DH and I frequently disagree. He seems to think that just because the boys don't listen to every word we say that I'm not doing a good job. He doesn't look at how last month when we went to a play date they were awesome! They listened, were respectful, when I said no then they took that answer instead of throwing a fit. Unfortunately the only thing we've been about to work out is that we don't confront each other in front of the boys. And whoever starts the punishment (or learning opportunity) must finish it.
    2murphyboys

    Answer by 2murphyboys at 2:21 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • That is a no no that needs to be talked about because it is only given the child mixed signals and not a good thing. Both parents have to come to some sort of compromise or else the child will have a hard time, he is the one that will suffer.
    older

    Answer by older at 2:22 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • That is counter-productive and shows a serious lack of respect! I would pull my husband aside (away from the children) and I would tell him that exactly! My husband and I have an agreement that if one of us disagrees with the other's methods, then we discuss that privately and adjust if necessary. We do not undermine one another's authority with the children.
    misses_nick

    Answer by misses_nick at 2:23 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • I get that all the time? Example- My son who is going to be 3 years old in a week or 2 wrecked his table that he had gotten from Santa clause. I told him that he needed to go in time out and he loses two toys for doing so. Daddy agreed he needed a time out but i should have not taken his two favorite things away for a week or a couple of days. I said but it worked and he has not touched the table since or tried to wreck it again.
    Or when i am giving our son a time out daddy takes him out and talks to him even though he threw a toy at someone, but the min daddy sees our son grabbing for something of his he puts him in time out.
    2boysyahoo.com

    Answer by 2boysyahoo.com at 2:37 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • We have agreed that when one is handling it the other one stays out of it and we can discuss it later when the child isn't around. It looks bad to the kid and is confusing when the parents start agruing over it. Or we do something like, let me discusss this with your dad and we'll let you know the punishment.

    But you need to get that right with your husband before it happens again.
    choco_mom

    Answer by choco_mom at 2:48 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • Me and DH disagree on almost every single aspect of parenting lol...I have no clue how we've lasted this long except for mutual respect for each other. When you come to a disagreement on how to handle something like for instance punishment...just make sure you pull him to the side and discuss it with him in private, even if you have to call a time out from punishing the children to do it....it's important that all kiddies are shown a united front from the parents
    Lucky209

    Answer by Lucky209 at 3:07 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • Generally we agree. But at times we have given conflicting directions. Poor kid. So I have learned the moment will pass and I talk to my husband after the incident. This way my son does not think my husband is wrong. Then when the same thing or similar situation happens again - we have agreed on how to handle it. Correcting my husband is a no-no and I certainly don't want him to do it to me in front of our child. But it took a few mess ups to get into the habit of waiting until later.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 3:42 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • daddy is good cop and lets jax touch everything and crawl everywhere he's not supposed to and then i tell him no and then he laughs at me but seriously i deal with him all day long while he's at work so what i say goes buddy!!!!!
    Amanda11810

    Answer by Amanda11810 at 9:16 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • we get that alot if bf says no our son will then come to me and i have to ask well what did your dad say or go ask bf before i give an answer.
    leeandbaby

    Answer by leeandbaby at 7:28 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

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