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4 Bumps

HOW HELPFUL IS YOUR HUSBAND WITH YOUR BABY?

My husband does the following.. Mind you he is unemployed so does have the time..

He gets up every other night with our new born son. (Feeds& changes him) However half the time wakes me up anyhow if the baby is fussy or if he "doesn't remember where stuff is.. like bottles and formula(rolls eyes)"

He 2-3 times a day will hold son.. never longer than 15 mins though.. UNLESS OUT IN PUBLIC.. THEN HE LOVES THE ATTENTION!

Is it just me.. or is hubby not really all that helpful.. I get that he atleast is making the effort.. but I still am not getting much sleep.. as I keep getting woke up for minor crap.. and I am still the major care giver all day long...

Do I have a right to complain.. or am I not being grateful.. Hubby says I am being not grateful for what he does do..
I just want some rest...

Answer Question
 
2boys4momma

Asked by 2boys4momma at 2:32 PM on Feb. 22, 2011 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 14 (1,513 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • with my husband, i have to ask for it to be done, and usually he will. otherwise, i will end up doing it all myself and then getting angry that he doesnt help. but some men need that extra shove because theyre a bit clueless and think we are superwoman or something :)
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 2:34 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • We have a two year old son and when he was a baby my husband was a natural, parenting came easier to him than I so he did do a lot, everything but whip his boob out haha. I'm 35 weeks prenant now and hoping I will get as much help this time as last but it will probably be less because we started our own business and he's very busy with that so I won't complain lol
    lovelyheaven271

    Answer by lovelyheaven271 at 2:37 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • i feel your pain my husband is not much help. My son is 2 and its like pulling teeth to get him to play with him. He didnt do much with him when he was little unless we were around people. My husband has watched our son maybe twice for 30 min since my son has been born. He is slowly getting better since our son is older. I make him give him a bath every night either that or do the dishes. It makes him have to stop playing video games and help out. I feel your pain and if you need to talk send me a message
    his88angel

    Answer by his88angel at 2:43 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • my ex boyfriend rarely held or changed our son when he was a baby, especially as newborn. It took him a few months before he felt comfortable enough (i guess) to really help out alot.
    June_Mama09

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 2:45 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • My husband rocks as a dad. He helps feed, helps clean up after them, he even gets up in the middle of the night. He gives tubbies, gets them dressed, changes diapers (remembers when we run out of diapers/wipes). I don't have to bitch and moan to get him to do anything, he does stuff all on his own without me even saying anything. He might be an ass of a husband sometimes, but I would never say anything negative about his parenting skills.
    Nanixh

    Answer by Nanixh at 2:45 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • I hear your pain. For me... my son is two month old now. In the beginning, my husband always extended is help above and beyond. Now he wont do a dam thing!!! That gets me mad. I'm in your shoes know what your going through. Im taking graduate classes as well... I have to find a babysitter for my baby and my 9 year old. I think you have it better than me!!!!!!
    Fishette

    Answer by Fishette at 2:47 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • Sorry to break it to you , but most mothers don't think the dads are very helpful. I have never heard a woman (other than my mom) say that their husband was really helpful with the baby. In the beginning, babies really want their mothers, at least that was my experience. Especially with breastfeeding, and the fact that Moms usually take FML while dads do not, women end up doing the majority of the work. I work and have a 2 year old and am currently sick and my husband is out of town for 6 days! When is the last time I went anywhere for 6 days by myself? I'll tell you- not since I"ve had a baby!
    danielp

    Answer by danielp at 2:49 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • Not a lot but it doesn't bother me. I knew going in that he is squimish about babies. He does what he has to do but if I am there and available I do it.
    jenae_gist

    Answer by jenae_gist at 2:51 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • I am lucky my husband was great, it was me that didn't take the help - our son had terrible colic and within 3 mintues he was frustrated and just hearing that frustration made me NEED to take over - which is partially my fault.. however he never stopped wanting to try or have duties.. he never hesitated to change diapers or hold or rock or WANT to try anything to sooth our son.. still our son is 3 and last weekend he took over everything when I was sick - laundry dishes, grocery shopping, cleaning cooking and watching our son so I could just rest.. - but yes, you have every right to complain..!!
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 2:51 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • im a sahm so i do everything day and night! and i breast feed so i have to do night time too! when my hubby comes home from work he will watch her so i can make dinner but thats about it! when she was lil and he could just hold her he was more helpful but now she is 1 and is walking every where so she is a handful so he doesnt like to watch her much! on the weekends tho he does get up with her in the morning so i can sleep in and he plays with her most of the day! he works hard so i understand that he wants to relax when he gets home but sometimes i would like to relax too!
    Caroline2010

    Answer by Caroline2010 at 3:00 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

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