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3 Bumps

Hubby doesnt want me to have an epidural

I had my first daughter with an epidural and it was the most wonderful experience of my life...the pain just floated away lol...I'm looking forward to having the same pain free experience with my son who is due in June.
The problem: Since I've had Kelley, my husband has started working as a Behavioral Specialist for mentally disabled adults, and through his job he has met a woman whose epidural apparently went horribly wrong and now is mentally disabled and he is scared that the same thing is going to happen to me.
I applaud all the brave and fearless women who have had their children naturally with only a peice of leather to bite down on (wink) and I admire their choice...but it's not for me....How can I convince my darling, loving, concerned husband that I will be okay? I would really hate to resort to sneaking the drugs while he's out the room lol (j/k)


Asked by Lucky209 at 3:03 PM on Feb. 22, 2011 in Pregnancy

Level 28 (35,060 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (21)
  • Tell him that he can have the baby without one, but you're doing it! Seriously though let him read up on it and educate himself. I t is actually a much safer and routine procedure these days.

    Answer by gutterflower585 at 3:12 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • As soon as your husband gives birth, then he gets a say in how you manage your pain during childbirth. Until then, tell him flat out that you are getting an epidural and if he doesn't like it too bad.

    Answer by CraftingMama at 3:05 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • There are dangers when there is no epidural as well. It is your decision.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 3:10 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • Hubby does not know the full amount of pain. BUT try hypno threapy classes and look into all the other options before you close that door. Epidurals are still dangerous, they are sticking a huge 16g needle into your spine for the love of god.

    Answer by MelissaAnn224 at 3:06 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • get him educated... he hs teh old timers mind about this... make sure he is aware of the benifits and the LOW risk involved with an epidural.. then put it to him this way.. if some were to go wrong adn theyhad to go in after the baby (c0section) then th epidural would alow them to do without risk the the baby... but if you were to go in all natrual and a c-section had to be preformed then they run th risk of having to put you to sleep under general and thent hey put the baby to sleep... i think lck of education may have him worried....

    plus to think bout how much more plesent you would be to be around during the birth of your child... I didnt want one... but I am not all about the shame on you for having one.. I think it is a preference...

    Answer by MOMMY2TWINBOYS4 at 3:07 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • Im all for natural birth.. But Id let your hubby know.. he met ONE woman... Just hope he doesnt actually research into it more or he will be more against them (screw ups- less severe-happen)...
    Id talk to him. let him talk to the dr. and let him know.. this is how u want it done... he can accept it now & have a joyful birthing experience with you.. Or he can make the birth of #2 be ruined by his attitude.
    You could always search more into natural births. there are plenty of great things that come from it! :)
    U both have plenty of time to talk thru it all... maybe in time when the story isnt so fresh in his mind, he will calm down.

    Answer by MommaTasha1003 at 3:11 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • Tell him that if he won't support you that he doesn't need to be in the delivery room. I chose to go without the epidural each time, but if my husband didn't support my decisions while giving birth, his ass would be waiting outside the delivery room.

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 3:14 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • Talk with him at a doctor's appointment about the potential risks. They are of course there, but thousands of epidurals are done every year without problems so I think the benefits outweigh the risks. Ultimately it is your body and should be your choice, I think the best you can do is listen to and address the concerns he has. You can also plan to forgo the epidural as long as you feel like you are able to handle the pain, but reserve the right to request it once you feel it is time. At that point in the delivery your husband needs to support you even if he doesn't agree with your choice. At the end of the day you are the one giving birth and you need to make the choices you are comfortable with. Weigh your hubby's feelings but explain to him why you need to be able to make this choice. Enough pressure comes along with childbirth without feeling like you are at odds with your husband, and he needs to be the one to give in.

    Answer by MaryMW at 3:17 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • Man that's a tough situation.. I would say that in the end it is your choice since you're the one going through the pain.. but it is his child as well.. Maybe talking to the doctor about his fears? I'm sure they could bring him some comfort. I think it's pretty rare that something like that would happen! Sorry you have to go through that extra stress.. Hope it all works out and you have a great labor :)

    Answer by kaitilala at 3:07 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • Yeah, I agree with the first post. He's not pushing the baby out so he doesn't have the say.

    Answer by KairisMama at 3:20 PM on Feb. 22, 2011