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Have you or your spouse ever had an affair? If so, What do you think is the reason for it?

Feel free to post Anonymous.


Asked by Anonymous at 12:10 PM on Nov. 19, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (8)
  • After much counceling he finaly told me that when he was planning on leaving it was because he thought I could do better. He felt like a failure and that I looked at him as a failure. Looking back, I did way more nagging and complaining then lifting him up. THis young lady came along side him and was all wide eyed and googly over him. She made him feel like a carefree respected man, I made him feel like a failure. NOW, that was what he was going though emotionally, I'm not justifying his behavior, nor does he try to justify it. This is what came out during counceling. I highly doubt that men have affairs simply because they want to. Usually there is insecurities behind it. Doesn't exuse the behavior, but it does make it easier to process and easier to correct and heal when you understand what was going through their heads.

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 2:40 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • My ex did but he was later diagnosed with NPD (Narcisistic personality disorder). I kicked him to the curb. Basically with his illness he needed admiration from as many ppl he could get it from. As for why other people might cheat who arent mentally ill? Who knows? Its wrong either way. If you decide to commit to someone then that means preparing to fall in love with the same person over and over again for the rest of your life, not just going to someone else when youre bored or upset.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:18 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • The men and women I know who cheated were all very self absorbed and very selfish. They were only out for themselves and were very mean to their spouses. They criticized them constantly then were mad when their spouse was distant from them. Nice people don't cheat so if I was married again and my spouse cheated I would feel it was character flaws in my spouse that allowed him to cheat when things were not going well. All marriages have problems at some point. Strong people work through them weak and selfish people cheat.


    Answer by Anonymous at 12:23 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • My sister cheats on her husband all the time..

    I think its sick,

    But i think she is really addicted to realtionships, i dont want to make excuses for her, because it is very sad, its a sad thing when my BIL calls and tells me what he found out, and i never and will never say yeah she did this or that, to him but i make it known to her , he knows...and i think its sick
    she said she never has a reason other than *she isnt happy* i tell her well why dont you leave, and she throws one excuse over the next one, i think she needs to be stiched downtown so she dont have these little affairs,

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:24 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • I have cheated and been cheated on. I think it is all about communication. It can also be very addictive. I was the "perfect" wife for 12 years. I thought I didn't have it in me to ever cheat! Then at a vulnerable moment when I was feeling fat and ugly because my husband wasn't paying attention to me sexually. I gave in to temptation when a very attractive married man started flirting with me. It was like a drug to me! I couldn't stay away from him even though I tried!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:33 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • No! but if so I would say the love is gone or what ever it was that attracted me to him.
    Still going strong though.
    Don't cheat it is not worth it!!!

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 12:44 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • People cheat for a lot of reasons... I have a friend that seems to fall head over heals for a man in a matter of moments and he's everything to her for a couple of months if that long, even more important than her kids (one child is in psychiatric hospital right now because he hates his Mom so much for pushing him and his siblings to the side all his life for man after man after man....) she has a lot of hang ups but what it boils down to is she wants to feel loved and appreicated she just doesn't realize she's being used.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 1:11 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • Another friend's husband never showed her any attention, no compliments, was a very selfish lover, made her feel inadequit, thought buying her things would be enough to show he cared.
    Some people cheat because they're just selfish jerks who can't keep their pants up and dresses down and in one's case she can't keep her mouth shut (she's addicted to giving BJ's to just about anyone because it gives her a power trip she says)
    Another friend who's wife only gives him sex about once a year.
    I obviously know a lot of cheaters..... sheesh, didn't realize how many till I typed that lol

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 1:11 PM on Nov. 19, 2008