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how can i make him tell the truth?

i just found out that my husband might have a 7 yr old daughter with his ex (before me) and he has been talking to the mother for 2 days 1 or 2 times a day each time for almost an hour he had messages from her on his e-mail and he showed me some but skipped some when i said something about it he got off it quick and said he'd show me tomorrow (today) well when i came in the room today while he was on he said he didn't know what happened magically all her messages were erased he said it must of been a virus. now hes mad at me because i said he was a boldfaced liar. how can i manipulate him to tell the truth?

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Asked by bamm_06_08 at 12:13 PM on Nov. 19, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (14)
  • Id call the cell company and ask for any copies they might have and Im assuming ur on the plan? They should give you a list atleast of who called and when (if not the actual texts) and you can confront him with them and say look, I know something is going on and we need to talk. If he cant be open and honest with you then tell him maybe he needs to go live with her.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:17 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • Personally, I'd ask him what's up and if he doesn't give a good enough answer to suit me then I'd tell him I'll contact her. Women love to spill their guts when it comes to telling a wife what's up.

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:18 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • He sounds quilty. Give it sometime and see what happens. How could seven years go by without you knowing he had a child much less talking to someone?
    Don't be so suspicious it will only cause you pain and arguements. Just go with the flow

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 12:21 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • You shouldn't manipulate him at all. Tell him that a marriage doesn't work without total honesty and if he continues the secretive behavior then you will be forced to believe he is up to no good. People who aren't guilty don't hide stuff till tomorrow. I'm not saying he is cheating but he is obviously doing somthing he believes is wrong or he wouldn't have skiped the messages in the first place.

    Answer by bugandsmiles at 12:21 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • You can't. All you can do is sit him down and tell him that he needs to be honest with you. You deserve to know the truth. You are his wife and this is your business too. He may be a little in shock and needs to find out for sure before things get messy. However it is kind of shady that your HUSBAND is not being honest about it. It almost sounds as if he prob knew all along and his childs mother is now trying to get something out of him. Just talk to him and tell him that you need to know and that you wont hesistate to talk to "her" yourself. GL

    Answer by Steph319 at 12:21 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • I used to act like I already knew things that i didn't know, and he's bust himself out. Seriously though- if he's lying to you and your trying to manipulate- you guys already have some issues you need to work on. Maybe honesty and counseling would help. Good luck- hope it all works out

    Answer by mykidsrock77 at 12:23 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • You cannot make him tell the truth. You can show him the couch and let him know until you know what he is up to and he is honest he can sleep there.


    Answer by Anonymous at 12:25 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • I agree with ann. Show him the couch and tell him to get comfortable! Tell him you are not angry that he might have a child from a previous relationship you just want him to be honest with you! Tell him if he needs to go get a paternity test fine you will go with him be suportive but tell him to stop lying to you. Tell him to be up front about his past because it is in his past hope this helps GL.

    Answer by Beccah2 at 12:32 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • You can not make no one tell you the truth unless they want to. Stop nagging or get out

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:40 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • I'm with Beccah2. I'd tell him that I would stand beside him to get that test but that until the test is done why are they conversing so much? You already know that the msg's didn't magically get erased. If there was a virus it would've messed up the whole computer, not just their msg's.
    He's either hiding something or he's afraid that you're going to be so jelous that it's going to ruin any chance he has to get to know his child.
    Good Luck to you all

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 12:45 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

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