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3 Bumps

Do you think I'm a bad mom?

I have to ask, since there are a variety of moms here.

I am a single mom of 2, I work full time, and go to school part time. I am also in the midst of starting my own business. So as you can see i am a very busy person. I am home everyday when I am not at work (my school is online-and I do school work after the kids are sleep..otherwise it never happens).

Alot of people say Im a bad mom because I go out every weekend. I go out every Friday or Saturday (only one of those-per week), if even that. By the time I go out, my kids are already sleep and I am home before they even wake up.

I feel I do a lot during the week....I'm not complaining, but because I choose to spend 5-9 hours out the whole week for my own time, when my kids are sleep, Does that make me a bad mom?

 

**Thank you all for answering, Just to answer a few questions that got brought up. 

Last April my dad passed away, since then my mom is with me, so she wont be alone, and it helps with the kids.

My mom is the only person who watches my kids (except when she is working which is hardly ever), then its my sister in law or one of 2 of my bestfriends.  But when I go out, I will only go if mom watches them.  I never leave my kids with anyone else so I can go out, I just don't feel its right.

When I do go out, I don't get trashed, I learned a LONG time ago, like when my son was a year old, how SO not worth it, it is to get so trashed, especially when I have to take care of my my kids the next day...cause I HAVE to do it, its not an option, so why even make it harder on myself.

Time for my kids, dispite all that I do.  My normal hours at work are from 9-5, some days I have to work late, depending on events (Im a catering assistant).  I spend the ride to school just me and my son....when I get home, getting ready for work, its me and my daughter. Its not much, but I try and bond as much as I can before the day starts.  When I get home on a 9-5 day, Its straight mom mode. the first 1/2 hour so is just "Mom's home, hugs, bond", then going over school work with my son, and then dinner....while I make dinner I sometimes include my kids depending on whats being made. Dinner is always at the table together, this is like an hour to an hour and 1/2, talking about or day or anything fun.....after dinner is bath and bedtime....I always tuck my kids in bed.

**Of course I have my occasional days where my mom may help with some of the child caretaking....but I try and spend what I can with my kids....My school work and my business is taken care of from 9 until about 1 in the morning.  I don't even try and do any of that when the kids are up....Lets be real, its not going to happen. 

Answer Question
 
RosaLeen

Asked by RosaLeen at 5:36 PM on Feb. 22, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 4 (54 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • I don't it makes you a "bad" mom but I do have to wonder...if you are out all night long while they are sleeping...who is watching them when you get home and crash from partying all night?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:38 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • no youre not a bad mom. youre so busy your entitled to a few hours out. dont feel guilty. i was a single mom for a while and if i didnt go out i wouldve gone insane. i also wouldnt have met my husband!! its not like youre pawning off your kids on someone to go out every night or anything. keep up the good work, itll pay off later.
    mykidsmom86

    Answer by mykidsmom86 at 5:40 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • Depends on what you do, and how long you stay out. Who is watching your kids.. That kind of stuff. Partying all night when you have two kids isn't the correct thing to do. But I guess from what you've written, I couldn't say that you're a bad mom.
    febmom007

    Answer by febmom007 at 5:40 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • I'm assuming someone is watching your kids for you while they sleep.

    If you have a sitter, then no. I don't think that makes you a bad mom at all. If we all let our hair down once & a while we'd all be a lot less stressed out. If you have someone to stay there while your kids sleep, i see nothing wrong with it. I like to go out too & do so often. I lucked out though, because 3 weekends out of the month, DD goes to her dads for just the weekend. So, this gives me time to go out & listen to live music, and/or go dancing. I enjoy my time out with friends & DH.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 5:42 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • i see nothing wrong with it as long as you leave them in the company of a responsible baby sitter.
    gwen20

    Answer by gwen20 at 5:42 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • I think as long as your kids are taken care of you are not a bad mom
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 5:42 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • i have the same question. if u r out the whole night. who stays with them while u r out and when u come from partying allnight? i do believe that you need your time off. bc i know i do but u also need to make smart choices bc they do affect the kids in the long run.
    jnm11108

    Answer by jnm11108 at 5:42 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • I would have to wonder the same thing. If you are out all night how you are able to care for your kids all day without crashing as well. I don't think it makes anyone a bad mom to get sometime to themselves, but 5-9 hours all night? I would have to wonder. I have 2 kids and 1 on the way and I never get that time away from my kids. I would love to have just once a month away from my kids since I am a SAHM and am with kids all day long, but I don't get it. I don't have noone to watch my kids.
    mommy5409

    Answer by mommy5409 at 5:44 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • Not a bad mom for wanting time for yourself ,but how you choose to spend your free time is the issue.Who is watching your kid's when you are out and who is watching them the day after when you are worn out? Is the time that you spend with your little one's "Quality" time is what you want to ask yourself.If other's are concerned about your children you may need to take astep back and really take a good look. World peace and Love to All !
    theirfuture152

    Answer by theirfuture152 at 5:46 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • I don't think you are a bad mom, hire a baby sitter and have fun!
    Bubbie0809

    Answer by Bubbie0809 at 5:48 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

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