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How can I get this to stop?

I keep having dreams about my brother dying all over again and they are preventing me from getting over it...how can I stop these?? In the dreams we are both happy to see eachother again, but in them I am getting ready to watch him die...

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:58 PM on Nov. 19, 2008 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (10)
  • Wow, I am so sorry for what you are going through. To be honest, it will take time. I can recal far too much detail on some people dying in my life and it has taken a while to get over it and then when you think you are over it, it still occasionally comes back. I would try mabye watching some home movies of the happier times with him and getting those memories back in your mind. Of course you will cry whiel watching them but then while you are dreaming, hopefully your mind will pull up the happy memories instead of his death. Good luck and Gods speed!
    Tricia19

    Answer by Tricia19 at 1:20 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • I wish I knew. I always have dreams about my dad, but usually they aren't happy at all. I love him, but he was very emotially and verbally abusive my whole life. I realize the older I get he probably should have been on some sort of medication. I think he was severely depressed.

    He died from a heart attack and I thought I wouldn't have to deal with it anymore. For eight years now I have dreams about him and in the dreams he acts like he did in life. I wake up crying and my husband has to convince me I was dreaming and calm me down. Sometimes they are so vivid and scary they upset me for days.

    Even though your dreams are happy, I can understand why they are still hurting you. I don't know how long it's been since your brother died, but hopefully time will help you. Hugs!
    Nika75

    Answer by Nika75 at 1:21 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • Thanks for the responses, he died this past May...I've been afraid to go to sleep because of the dreams even though I want to see him again I am scared the way I am seeing him, but in my dreams I ask him to keep coming back to see me....I don't think I really want that though...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:24 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • I understand the being afraid to fall asleep believe me! Are you having these dreams every night? Mine are only occasionally, but often enough to shake me up all the same.

    Not sure how religious you are, but have you thought to pray about this and ask God to help you not to have these dreams because they are making you so sad, or ask him to help you be at peace about your brother. I find that sometimes that helps me out.

    Overall, I think you're just gonna need some more time hon. Like I said, it's been almost 8 years for me. The first few years were terrible. (My dad died December 31st at 2:00 am). Holidays sucked, bad dreams were frequent for a long time. The dreams are the way your mind is dealing with this. I know mine are brought on my stress usually. Maybe some sort of calming therapy or technique before you go to sleep might help?

    Hugs again!
    Nika75

    Answer by Nika75 at 1:32 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • Father we ask that you continue to heal this broken heart we ask Lord that You provide strength and peace which passes all understanding send Your angels to watch over and keep Your beloved when she lays her head down Father I pray that her sleep would be sweet and that no weapon formed against her shall prosper we thank You that You hear our prayer and that You will answer as Your Word goes out it won't return void. In JESUS name,AMEN(so be it)
    TalithaStarry

    Answer by TalithaStarry at 3:02 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • I'm so sorry for your loss! I can share a technique I learned in therapy, letter writing. Sit down when you have some quiet time and write your brother a heart-felt letter. You might be surprised at what you end up with. Just keep writing and writing, get the feelings out where you can see them and read them over. I wish you much peace.
    krisr169

    Answer by krisr169 at 4:03 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • You know, though you feel like the dreams are stopping you from healing -- I think the dreams are a sign that you are still thinking of it sub-consciously. Dreams are often described as playtime for the mind in psychology. The mind never sleeps so it works over problems that you have (which is why you may wake up with a solution to something, or reminded of that item you forgot at the grocery store). Have you considered seeing a counselor that helps deal with grieving and loss?
    Serafyna

    Answer by Serafyna at 4:17 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • I agree with Serafyna. Dreams are our minds way to let their hair down. And seeing someone about dealing with loss will help.
    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 6:05 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • Well he may be trying to let you know he's ok now. Spirits often visit us in dreams as it is the easiest way to communicate. However you need to deal with your unresolved issues and feelings concerning his death. Dreams re occur until the situation surrounding them has been dealt with. I might suggest you take time to "talk" to him. I assure you he can and does hear you. Sorry for your loss.
    2autisticsmom

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 6:14 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • I have a weird question...are you pregnant? Pregnant women often have dreams like this, a lot of people theorize that it's just a way of connecting the baby to a close, missing relative.
    TempestRayne

    Answer by TempestRayne at 8:14 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

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