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4 Bumps

What to think ....

I went to clean my sons house today... I went to clean it because he asked for help because his pregnant new wife wont do anything ( my son has 3 jobs and also volunteers as an EMT )... When I first walked in the door I was horrified because i couldnt even open the door all the way because of the piles of clothes and bags everywhere .... They have lived there for almost a year and her boxes still arent unpacked because she says she doesnt feel like it because she is pregnant - BUT she has lived there for almost a year and she is only 10 weeks pregnant)

Ok so her not cleaning and not cooking isnt a reason to not like her... but I wanted to describe WHY I had to clean their house.

When she found out she was pregnant they hurried and got married ( town hall ) , my son is so excited and being a dad is all he talks about.

But today as i cleaned I noticed 2 things and now I am worried sick that she is playing yet another mind game with our family ( she has lied several times before) .... When I emptied the bathroom trashcan there was several dirty pads ( yes I know thats disgusting ) ... she also has a box of pads beside the toilet, and in the cabinet ( behind her makeup bag and stuff was 2 boxes of pregnancy tests) ....

So this really makes me wonder... I mean she is a slob and the pads could be there from whenever - but since the trash wasnt overflowing I doubt it was THAT long ago ( longer than 10 weeks ago) ...and since she had all of the stuff thrown overtop of the pregnancy tests, i cant tell if maybe she was trying to hide it or just thrown it int here out of laziness ( I assumed laziness at first which is why I was organizing it) ....

What would you think ? What would you say ?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:31 PM on Feb. 22, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Answers (16)
  • Your son is in love and he won't listen or act on whatever you tell him. All he knows is that he is inlove and you are going to push him away from your side. Maybe she is pregnat maybe she is having a baby that is his who knows nobody knows. If you start making accusations you will ended up alone with no son or grandchild.

    Answer by amparoortega at 9:36 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • has she gone to her first obgyn appt yet she should have gotten and aultra sound and herd the heart beat ? 2 . dose she talk about the baby or even about the future around the family ? i would say talk to her alone not accusingly just ask how was the first aultra sound ?when do you get it done ( at how many weeks) ( you can hear the heart beat at 8 weeks normaly)? were you excited to here the heart beat? can i go to the next appt? things like that ... then ask your son if he went with or is going to go with and the same questions. if something seams fishy give it a week or two more if you dont here anything about it bring it up. thats not good for you son or the family if she is lieing.

    Answer by blinkys11 at 9:44 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • She has said that her DR office wont let her come in until she is 14 weeks.... Of course I thought that was crazy - but she told me things have changed since I had my son ( 20 years ago) ..... So that already had a thorn in my side because I wasnt really believing that - I mean back then things were not as advanced and at 16 weeks I had already heard my sons heartbeat a number of times and found out his gender ! - I am not sure why now it would be harder to do any of that.

    He once broke up with her and she lied and said she was pregnant , she came clean then but he forgave her........ and now he thinks that since she told him about it then, why would she lie now --- she said she isnt buying anything for the baby and doesnt want ANYONE to buy ANYTHING for the baby until she knows the gender.... again another thing that bugs me and makes me wonder.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:02 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • I would keep a watchful eye out for her, cuz she might have lied and said she was pregnant to get him to marry her and she can't use pregnancy as an excuse to not clean I still cleaned and went to work until I was 9 months pregnant and ready to give birth, I would watch her to see if her stomach is getting bigger . I'm sorry you have to deal with that and I'm sorry your son has to work so hard but its clear you raised a great man

    Answer by toybar02 at 10:42 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • That's a lie about the doctor not letting her come in until she's 14 weeks , when I found I was pregnant I was 4 weeks pregnant they gave me a sonogram , vaginally they even gave me a pic even though it was just a little dot and I had to come back every two weeks for a checkup to make sure the baby was ok so I don't know what doctor she's going to but I never heard about coming back when you're fourteen weeks by the time I was 14 weeks I had been to the doctor 3 times and I wasn't high risk so watch her, call the doctor if you have to, whatever it takes to protect your son if she's lieing that would break his heart

    Answer by toybar02 at 10:57 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • Sounds like she's lying to me.
    OB's will schedule an appointment as early as a few weeks. As long as you've missed your period they will do a blood test for you. Even walk in clinics and planned parenthood clinics will see you within the first few weeks. I had my first pregnancy four years ago and they saw me within the first nine weeks. I don't agree that she was told she can't be seen, because most offices lecture you if you wait longer then the first few weeks to be seen. When I was pregnant with my son (he's now two) I waited until three months (scared I'd have another miscarriage) and I got lectured by the nurse and the doctor within that visit. So with that said I would inquire more and see if you can't find out more information. Sounds to me like she's not pregnant and hoping to become pregnant. Also.. If she says she's 10 weeks how would she know if she hasn't seen the doctor yet?

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 11:11 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • Honesty, I would stay out of it. If your son believes her, and you bring up that you think she is lying, he will more than likely side with her and that will cause friction between you two. If she is lying it will come to light soon enough and your son will be left to decide if he forgives her or not. Her story sounds fishy at best to me also...but I would just let it play out.

    Answer by KennsWifey at 11:12 AM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • talk to her and make plans for cleaning routines with other friend and other family members. Got to help others...

    Answer by GlitteribonMom at 11:52 AM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • Wow. Take

    Did you really go over to "help" or to poke around? Be honest.

    Your son is a man, he can make his own choices now, he is not your little boy who needs you to protect him from his wife. You really should not have gone over there to clean in the first place. If she refuses to clean, that is for the two of them to work out. If she is lying to him, trapped him, and is an evil, evil *****, well that is also for the two of them to work out.

    There is a reason he chose to make her his wife. Obviously you disagree with his choice, but he is an adult and it was his choice.
    Your meddling is not going to help him, or you, or the wife. It is only going to stir things up further and create a bigger mess. Hey, if she is lying I think he will find out without detective mom on the case at some point....don't you? If you think otherwise, you are really insulting his intelligence.


    Answer by spottedpony at 12:01 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • Women have been known to have their periods for at least a while during pregnancy. I had my period til I was about four months. So maybe not say anything , just be watchful. What could you say anyway?

    Answer by dnna_g at 2:32 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

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