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3 Bumps

My 3yr old daughter and another preschooler were caught naked from the waist down and "grinding" eachother! Pls help!

I received an incident report from my 3yr old daughters preschool that her and another child were caught naked from the waist down and "grinding" each other. I guess my daughter was caught earlier in the day (twice) laying/sitting on the same child and they were told both times to find something else to do. The preschool supervisor told me she talked to both children separately and explained that some body parts were to be kept private, etc. I am extremely stressed about this! I am a single parent so my daughter has never been exposed to these sort of adult activities. I don't understand where she would even get the idea to do this in her head. Its unclear which child was instigating and of course the preschool won't even tell me who the other child was. I don't know what to think here! I am over reacting? I talked to my daughter about it and will continue to, but are there other steps I should be taking as well? Please HELP?!

 
akmom2007

Asked by akmom2007 at 10:13 PM on Feb. 22, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (15)
  • Sexual behavior isn't learned. It is a natural instinct as the body grows to investigate and explore your own body. Especially if they've noticed a difference in feeling in certain parts of their body. Again, sexual behavior isn't learned and with that comes the curiosity as they get older. They might've noticed a different feeling while wrestling or playing together and decided to investigate. Don't underestimate what children understand and realize even if you think they haven't been exposed to that type of behavior. Some things are just human nature.

    Now as far as talking to her .. Don't make her feel ashamed, don't make her feel like she's done something wrong, because you don't want to scare her into thinking sexual acts are wrong. Let her tell you what she knows, is curious about, and understands as well. Then go from there about helping educate her.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 10:53 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • Okay, I have a 5 year old and a 3 year old, the idea came from SOMEWHERE.  Do you have animals that might have been humping each other?  Is your child anywhere where she could witness that?  Who instigated, whose idea it was, all of that is prominent info that you NEED.  I say speak to them very firmly and tell them that you have a right to know PERIOD.  Don't take no for an answer.  Also, where were the people who were suppose to be watching them?! 

    MrsHouston47302

    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 10:18 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • how many kids are in the class that to me is something that should not of happened at a school if they were watching them
    devinalexis

    Answer by devinalexis at 10:19 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • Kids pick up a lot of things, they are sometimes more aware than we give them credit for. 3 years old is a little young to be naked and grinding on each other, no you are not overreacting. I would definitely continue to talk to her and keep an eye on this.

    matheson7

    Answer by matheson7 at 10:17 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • I say back up the school with the argument that some body parts are to be kept private. I also think you should talk to her on her level, and not make her feel ashamed. Ask her who it was and what she was doing, where she learned it etc.
    ElenaC419

    Answer by ElenaC419 at 10:17 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • I'd also be concerned with the fact that the kids were unsupervised long enough to get nake and do that. But seriously, i think most kids go through this type of thing. Maybe she got the idea from the other child.
    My dd was caught doing nearly the same thing when she was 7!!!!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:21 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • I think you are doing all the right steps. I can understand how this would be extremely stressful though. Every child goes through this phase. I remember going through it as a child. It is totally normal. Do not beat your self up.
    BTW if it makes you feel better, I have a 2 yr old girl and 3 yr old boy who have literally turned to "streaking" in public. They undress so quickly I cant stop them both at the same time! I am a single parent as well and sometimes you have to stop and chuckle at things like this. Its stressful, but at the same time its going to happen regardless.
    tammychiz

    Answer by tammychiz at 10:24 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • sounds normal for a 3 year old but i would def be asking more questions. does the daycare have security cameras in the classroom? they had to have seen this somewhere to get the idea of doing it. there should be a certain number of teachers in the classroom according to the number of children. i would be asking many questions because if it were to keep happening, then it would def cause an issue in the future. this may sound wya in left field, but i would ask your child if someone has touched them in there private area. good luck.
    Allie120

    Answer by Allie120 at 10:26 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • No they can't tell who it is, but your daughter can. Ask her.

    Play like that is normal between children the same age. It shouldn't be encouraged, but it is considered exploratory play and not abuse when they are the same age. That is not to say I wouldn't be concerned because I would be, but don't freak out.

    Who knows where the other child got the idea from, maybe they were exposed to something or maybe the kids just were following instincts of what felt good. What's most important is that she understands that her private parts are just that private and make sure she tells you if anyone wants to touch her there or has touched her there.

    The other parents will be getting the same notice you will be. I am sure they will be haivng the same talks with their child tonight .
    jamesonjustines

    Answer by jamesonjustines at 10:48 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

  • I agree that I would take this seriously because they are so young. If say a 5, 6, or 7 yo is doing this- it is definitely possible they are watching too much tv, saw the wrong thing, or are just curious.
    My guess would be that she got the idea from the other child. I would definitely push her to tell you WHERE. Just because 3 is young for either child to even just see this on tv or be in the wrong room at the wrong time and and be curious enough to copy it. It could be possible that someone else has done this to the other child, who is in turn going to school and copying the behaivor.
    And once I found out where, I would then go with the 'some body parts are meant to be private' and address any further questions to the school without your child's knowledge. Good luck!!
    pat7879

    Answer by pat7879 at 10:33 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

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