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Breaking the cycle

I was recently speaking to someone about their childhood and the harmony with which it flowed was something we should all strive for. It included divorce, step parents, grandparents and how they came together in support of each other as they dealt with these all too common elements of our life. This person I was talking to is perhaps the most interesting, multi-faceted person I've ever met.  My question is this:  How do we break the cycle?  I have someone in my own home that is a source of bad feelings.  We have bossy grandparent issues, and an ex issue which creates a kid issue in our home and my adopted daughter has strings still attached to her nut ball family.  The latter isn't a big deal.  As for my husband and I we get along fine usually and the kids don't fight with each other.  Everyone gets mad at times but I think that's normal.  I can say I want the cycle to end with our family and not pass it on to another generation....our kids' life and relationships.  But how?  You can't just go say you're sorry to the people who wreak havoc in your life and poof it's better.  In 3 years I think 2 of the issues should resolve themselves to a certain point.  The grandparent thing will likely resolve as well.  Perhaps I'm envious even though in the grand scheme of things we have a nice life; within these 4 walls at least.  :)  Have you broken the cycle?  Do you consider what it would take to break the cycle?  What did you do to be successful at it?  ;-) 

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:28 AM on Feb. 23, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (2)
  • lern e

    Answer by regina480 at 9:58 AM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • WOW ! That's a DEEP question !!!

    They say :

    They refer to the role models, i.e. We attract partners in our life, that may resemble our fathers, and we may act like our mothers.
    In your case, there are also grandparents' issues, and it makes things more complicated.
    I try to analyze my parents' relationship, and here's my conclusion :

    Everyone does the best they can, according to their upbringing and memories from their own parents.
    Your grandparents' background will help you understand why they act in a certain way.

    I.e. My parents were teenagers around WW II, in Europe, and they like to collect objects, buy A LOT of food "Just in case there's a catastrophe, to make sure we won't be hungry".

    When we analyze people's backgrounds, we can sympathise and understand them better.


    Answer by lillyblue111 at 10:07 AM on Feb. 23, 2011

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