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Mom, leave me alone!!!

I wanted to see what you thought about this and how you would handle this... Maybe not handle, but would think... Thing is, there is no talking to this woman because she is the "victim" and will cry if you say anything meaningful to her..

I love my mom, but she has a major "need to be needed" complex. She thinks that the world would fall apart with0ut her. She is married to a super needy man that she pushes around because that is what makes her happy.

I have been sick with a thyroid disease for months, she has not asked me one time how I'm doing. I have a son who is bipolar and drains my brain...she and her hubby really do not care about all that.

She is CONSTANTLY asking me when I'm coming out... I live 45 miles away and work full time. I feel so pulled in every direction that I have 0 time for myself. I try to keep up with her demands, but it interfers with what I want and need to do for myself and family.

It is clear that she does not take any of this into consideration and really feels that she is the CENTER of my life.

I called out there the other day and got her hubby, he asked "WHEN ARE YOU COMING OUT???" The weekend before, I went out to give him b-day present and visit. The more I visit, the more and more they need me to come....

I went a few days and didn't call, I was sick! When my mom called me, she was hateful and said "WELL, it has been a few days since I talked to your!!"..

It makes me feel anxiety and resentment, I am starting to loath the caller ID. Not to mention that my mom is not pleasant... If I say the sky is blue, it is green to her...She has been there for me before (mostly loan money) but ususally she just wants to point out that I'm thin and she is heavy or just a weird duel...  I am so tired of feeling like keeping them happy is part of my job!!

WHAT DO YOU DO???

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:07 AM on Feb. 23, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • I limit or completely cut off exposure to the toxic individuals in my life.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:09 AM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • honestly have and honest conversation that says either you back off because your killing me or i will stop coming around because your killing me......
    cara124

    Answer by cara124 at 10:20 AM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • Well I have been on both ends lol. I am a grandma myself now and always ask my dd to come over so I can see my grandkids. She has to work alot and gets testy towards me for asking. I dont think thats right either. Maybe you can just ask her to come over to your place if she wants to see you. I also have a mom who isnt like your mom, shes far worse. Everything is about her 100% of the time. She never asks how I am, but if I dont ask how she is she tells me I dont care about her.
    I would tell her you work full time and that she is stressing you out. Tell her you cant be everywhere all of the time and you need them to come to your place as much as you come there. That seems more then fair and puts the ball in her court.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 10:21 AM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • gemgem, I really don't want her here...she picks me apart. Last party she was invited too, years ago... she talked about how bad the food is. Things are 100% about her. She also does not want to see the kids, she wants us to see HER. She doesn't ask about my kids, she'll talk about how rude they are because they don't hug her and go crazy over her...She is not loving to them, but expects hugs...
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:24 AM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • Well then just take a break and stop calling all together, stop answering her calls and all of that. When I was in my 20s my mom was alot that way and I cut her off. I think we went a couple months without talking or seeing each other before she finally apologized to me. The difference with me and my mom is she does want to see my kids but can care less if I were to die.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 10:28 AM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • My mom just wants the focus on her...she wants all to come see her, hug her and tell her how great she is. She is very selfish and it shows to all, but my brother. They both think I'm a jerk. My family are southern and they don't understant why I wouldn't ride out every Saturday to eat with them... My brother does this and has her spoiled. Sounds nice for a publix commercial, but when ppl talk about your kids acting bad and how you NEVER come see them, misery for me!
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:32 AM on Feb. 23, 2011

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