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Mom says he doesnt love me.

my husband doesnt get me on insurance bc it costs too much. However he makes a shit load of money. He says he just doesnt want to live paycheck to paycheck (which we wouldnt be) but i dont think he wants to risk it. He hasnt offered to pay for my kids schooling, so they dont go to school. They are 3 & 4. He would never buy me much without complaining..... Like clothes, shoes etc. I envy a friend of mine bc her fiance took her with 2 kids, and she doesnt have to work, and he spoils her with flowers, jewelry, purses, shoes, clothes, puttin her kids in school, health insurance, a new car (the one she wanted) getting her nails, and hair done, without complaints from him.He to has 3 other kids he cares for.... (my husband makes more bank than he does, and my husband still wont get me a thing)

Why cant my husband go out and buy me a flower? Card? Something?? Is that too much to ask for? Its not like he really takes care of us.. I still have food stamps, wic, medicaid (for the kids) etc until it expires next month. So its not like hes *really* caring for us....

does this mean he doesnt love me? Or this just makes him money hungry and cheap?

Does this mean he doesnt love me...???

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:33 AM on Feb. 23, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Well then get a job yourself. If your kids are old enough for school then public school is free, sort of lol. And if you and he both agree for you to be a stay at home mom, then it's HIS responsibilty to make sure that you are cared for as far as insurance goes. I take it he doesn't "allow" you to have any money??? This would piss me off. But i'm not the controllable type
    Zakysmommy

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 10:37 AM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • No, it means he is a controlling bastard that makes you ASK for money, when he is really working for the entire family, and it should be agreed upon with both of you on how to spend it. The fact that he wont' buy you health insurance shows that he is just stupid, because if you need any medical care, he will be the one paying for it without insurance.
    He is a poor excuse for a man.
    Candi1024

    Answer by Candi1024 at 10:38 AM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • Well we agreed I would be a stay at home mother, but since he was so annoying about how I spent money, I got myself a sitting job. I get paid 300 a week, so with that money I am going to buy my kids and myself items we need, And this morning I made an appt with VPK so my child could go to school 3 hrs a day 5 days a week.

    I just feel like I cant rely on him at all.

    He says that we could get insurance, but its a waste of money if we dont ever get sick....
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:43 AM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • hes your husband he married you and your kids if he cant take that hole responsibility then screw him lol

    Mrs.Prine

    Answer by Mrs.Prine at 10:53 AM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • IF you don't ever get sick.
    I was diagnosed with MS 2 years ago. Snuck up on us. Feel fine now, some friends still don't know I'm "sick", because at the moment you can't tell there's anything going on. However, THANK GOD I'm on the insurance (we would never think of not putting ALL of us on there)...
    I get MRIs once a year, Ins. covers all of it ($3000 a pop), appointments with my Neurologist twice a year, we pay less than half, my meds cost upwards of $2500 a month, my copay is $15.
    It's a gamble NOT getting insurance. The little things that SHOULD be nothing, easy, get put off until it becomes too much, more expensive, more health issues.
    As my hubby says, "It's just money. There's more to be made. Can't take it with you. Why hoard it?"
    I would see this as a relationship/attitude issue. You need a sit down, perhaps with a counselor, to figure out the WHOLE issue.
    blondenak

    Answer by blondenak at 10:54 AM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • i understand this too.. ): i just dont know how to tell him. Everytime I bring it up he says he see's what Im doing, just using him. Or he feels like he is being used. Bc he built a room for my boys, he feeds them when we go out to eat, he buys them stuff once in blue moon, and provides a car and shelter. I assume he thinks he does so much, but in reality the community "government" is caring for us financially.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:57 AM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • They say that LOVING RELATIONSHIPS SHOULD HAVE THE ELEMENT OF JUSTICE AND MUTUALITY.
    You mention what your man does for you, and you need to know if he loves you.
    You sound like a nice, loving person. I know your MOM SAYS HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU, because she judges his feelings
    by what he provides. Ask yourself what YOU offer to him, so that you understand your man better.

    Some Men try to control you by GIVING YOU MONEY. I feel your girlfriend is just a trophy wife, or an investment for her hb.
    Believe me, the moment HE FINDS A BETTER LOOKING ONE, she'll be disposed like a chewing gum.

    YOUR MAN seems to be a RELIABLE, PRACTICAL MAN, who takes care of you and your children, and WILL DO MORE STUFF FOR YOU WHEN HE'S CONVINCED YOU REALLY LOVE HIM.
    Experiment: Get a proper job for A WEEK, stop taking such a good care of the house, and see how he acts: He'll realize
    YOUR VALUE = Your ability to survive WITHOUT HIM

    lillyblue111

    Answer by lillyblue111 at 11:08 AM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • LOVE doesn't hurt...Noone ever gets everything they want and if they do, it isn't always a good thing..I think you already have your answer. It is never a good situation when one side controls and the other is lacking..A MAN will do for the good of his family WITHOUT BEING ASKED OR TOLD! Someone who loves you will want to make sure that your needs are met and childrens needs are met. Why don't you get a part-time job or something for the extras..Your friend isn't being spoiled she is being made weak..There is nothing wrong with a man loving his wife but getting everything she wants is only making her weaker...Stop looking at the negetive and talk to your husband with loving words...respect your mother but don't ask for her opinion..this is between the two of you..angry words only stir up more angry words...
    motherganey5

    Answer by motherganey5 at 12:01 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • motherganey... those are the WISEST words I have yet to read for all these yrs I have been on CM. Thank You. I will talk to him, and I will try and let him know my feelings in the nicest caring way possible.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:35 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

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