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3 Bumps

Is it ok to not friend a family member on Facebook?

Ok, so I just found out that my 80 year-old grandmother has a facebook. After the initial shock and awe went away I'm like ok, do I friend her? or do I not friend her? (She sent the friend request) After much debate with my SO I decided I'd better friend her because if not, I'd never hear the end of it and I could see most of my cousins and even my brother and sister in-law had friended her. My only worry is that sometimes I am a bit more sarcastic and rude with my convos that I have with my friends online than my grandmother would like to know or tolerate. And I'm really not in the mood anymore to have to explain that being the "baby" of my family doesn't make me a child, I'm 27 years old; I'm an adult who likes to have adult conversations and tends to like to have a naughty/slighty perverted since of humor. How am I supposed to keep the peace in the family when my overbearing and intrusive grandmother can now "follow" all my moves? I'm already getting phone calls from her asking why I'm not married yet and why don't I have any pictures of myself up that show how pretty I am and comments like: You'll never get marriedif you don't portray yourself the way a woman should (yeah grandma thats SO the reason why I'm not married)! BTW, the father of my little girl and I are happy with the way things are and we have plans to marry, just not anytime soon.

I'm starting to think that facebook really is the devil and will bring on the ending of earth as we know it.

**previously posted in a forum but didn't get any response to the actual question**

Answer Question

Asked by AbbysMom1017 at 11:57 AM on Feb. 23, 2011 in Relationships

Level 5 (72 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • Chances are an 80 year old is not going to spend mass amount of time on Facebook, so it's not like she's going to stalk you. Plus, if there's ever anything you don't want her to see, simply block her from seeing it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:59 AM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • maybe you can friend her, but add her to a certain list so she can't see all your photos, or statuses, or wall, or whatever you don't want her to see.

    my friends added their parents, and they can't see some of their party photos, or statuses, or their wall. but, they can still keep in touch. which is what most people say they use facebook for anyway. :D

    Answer by r.e.l.s.m.o.m. at 12:01 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • Who cares? What's she going to do if she sees that side of you.. The way I look at it is if I can't feel comfortable around them being me, then they don't belong in my life anyway, whether it's on fakebook, or in real life....

    I removed family from my page because of drama, if they don't like it then they can remove you as well.

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 12:01 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • It's a WEBSITE and it's your decision. Personally if she isn't a total bi... I'd friend her and if she doesn't like the things you say and way you conduct yourself on there, then she can de-friend you or however it's done (I'm not on Facebook so maybe my opinion means nothing, but I have a general idea how it works.)

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:01 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • You don't know my grandmother....she has plenty of time to spend on facebook and is fairly well educated in using a computer and internet.

    Comment by AbbysMom1017 (original poster) at 12:03 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • ~*Giggles*~... if you prefer not to, because you have content she'd be better off NOT seeing, explain that you prefer a "face to face" with her, and respectful personalized letters (old school, snail mail)...

    I couldn't imagine drama over whether she be added or not, that would be childish on the part of those stiring it up in the first place?

    I see you friended her, so no need to ask in here whether to or not, deed was already done

    Answer by MommaClark3 at 12:04 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • just because they are family doesn't mean you have to add them! i have a bitch of a cousin that wouldn't even let me see her new baby when i asked, she has sent requests but i ignore SO's mom is my friend on there, and i'm getting ready to delete's just easier with some people not all up in your business sometimes!

    Answer by kyuteangl88 at 12:06 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • Yeah I get that she can be blocked from seeing things. In answer to the statement of what can she do? She is notorius for "stretching" the truth and will air dirty laundry to complete strangers and is just an overall complete mess when it comes to anything.

    UGH guess I just need to let her get the full aspect of my convos on facebook and let her decide what happens.

    Comment by AbbysMom1017 (original poster) at 12:09 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • btw. i reject certain family members all the time. but mostly because i'm too lazy to make a separate list and click what they aren't allowed to see.

    i DO think it's awesome you have an 80 year old grandma who's computer and facebook savvy.

    my mom can't even figure out our dvd player.

    Answer by r.e.l.s.m.o.m. at 12:10 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • If you dont want to I dont see a problem with keeping her off!

    Answer by rebeccadac at 12:16 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

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