Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Who to invite?

my baby just truned 5 and we r having a party! problem is i want my aunts to come and idk if it is a good idea to invite both of them.
my aunt M and her daughter r very close to my babies and take care of them all the time. my aunt J is close to me we talk on the phone all the time, but is sickly so she doesnt get out much. but i take the babies to see her all the time. and she also has a great-granddaughter that is my daughters age that lives with her (along with her daughter and her 3 sons all teenagers)
my cousin D (aunt M daughter) and my cousin N (aunt J grandson) got into an altercation and the police had to be involved. charges were pressed but do to lack of evidence the case never went to trial. but all this took a toll on my aunts (they r sisters) but they did come to terms and r now talking and even seeing eachother again.
but my cousin A (cousin N mom) will not let it drop. she swears her son did nothing and will not forgive my aunt M for pressing charges. she was also mad at me for a long time cause i "choose" cousin D over them. i never said u or them. i love them all. but she didnt see it that way. i took care of my lil cousin D cause that is what my mom (she passed a few yrs ago) told me to do.
we have had one big family get together since all this has happened. my aunts were fine but my cousin A was a total freak! she made a scene and i had to tell her if she kept acting like this that she needed to leave. she got very upset and started telling me i was just a kid and she had a right to protect her kids. i told her i wasnt a kid anymore and i was in charge of my house. i would never put her kids in danger. that i love them all and if they didnt want to be here to leave. to which she did, but her oldest son came up to me and said he was sorry for her acting like that and that he understood where i was coming from.

so i have already invited aunt M and cousin D. but if i invite aunt J then everyone who lives with her will see the invite (she cant read very well) and i do want her great granddaughter to go. my babies love playing with her (they r cousins) but i just dont want my cousin A there to make a scene. which is what she is good at. so should i invite her or not?

Answer Question

Asked by teddybear2272 at 12:07 PM on Feb. 23, 2011 in Relationships

Level 6 (146 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Maybe you should call your cousin A and talk to her about it. Maybe she will tell you that she doesn't wanna go, but then at that point at least you invited her. Tell her you don't want any drama so if that is something she cant do then tell her not to bother coming. It must have been something serious for her to attack your cousin D every time she sees him. Good luck and i hope your DD has an awesome b-day party with no drama.


    Answer by Christieluv0614 at 12:26 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • Invite everybody, but have a bouncer party...

    Answer by GlitteribonMom at 12:35 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • Invite everyone, but let the feuders know that you have invited everyone and the party is for your daughter. If anyone feels the need to fight or argue, they will be asked to leave. This day is for your daughter, not for anyone else. She has the right to have whom ever she wants at her party. After all, It's her party and she'll invite who she wants.


    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 1:04 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • Invite everyone, and call cousin A, the day you send out the invite.
    Tell her that since it is YOUR Childs party, you are inviting everyone that your child loves. Which includes the people she is still mad at. Tell her you understand that she is still not over what happened, and that is fine. But this is your kids party, you are inviting them all, and if she cannot come and be civil, she is not welcome. You should invite whoever you want to invite, and if she doesn't want to be there, or is she cannot behave, she can't come. Plain and simple. If everyone who was involved in the incident can get over it, why can't she?

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 1:44 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • Just invite everyone and see who comes and if the one that makes a big deal out of the whole situation starts up then just put her in her place again and let it be known you won't have any of that in your home. plain and simple. its hard because its family but you have to set them straight. if she doesn't like it then there's the door.

    Answer by lucky35 at 2:46 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • thanks for all the advice.
    i wish it were as simple as picking up the phone and have a civil conversation with my cousin A but it's not. she is in her late 30's but still acts like a teenager. if u even mention my aunt M and cousin D she goes ballistic. unless u r agreeing with her that they r evil, (which they r not) her oldest son (cousin B) is the one who has actually taken a grown up stance on the subject. and if all i had to do was invite him so he could bring his daughter i would. but she is in everyone's business, but cant take anyone being in hers. i will call and talk to my aunt J and hopefully my cousin A will not blow up about it.

    Comment by teddybear2272 (original poster) at 4:16 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.