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2 Bumps

Have you ever had to.....

Deal with someone who had no kids trying to tell you how to raise YOUR kids! For instance, I went out to do alittle shopping for the kids( I have 3) my 7 yr old and 2 has plenty of jackets I just purchase my 5yr old one(she's going through a major growth spurt) I was accused of playing favorites!! thats just one example.
I love all three of my kids the same & they know that!
How do you deal w/ ppl like that?

Answer Question
 
kyheavensmom

Asked by kyheavensmom at 12:21 PM on Feb. 23, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 18 (5,660 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • Depends on my mood. At worst I say when you have kids then you get to have an opinion. Other times I just say "he or she is going through a growth spurt" or "I bought his clothes last week and am doing hers at this store today because they have her size and the other store did not." That last one actually happened to me recently.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 12:26 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • I don't have any kids either but I understand that kids need clothes often because they grow fast. I am also learning the hard way that the way I view other peoples' kids is not the way that I view all kids especially not my own kids one day because I will be raising them. Don't let that person rattle you because only you know whats in your heart and your kids know exactly how you feel about them. That person was just mad because they wanted a jacket too :p
    liltxtornado

    Answer by liltxtornado at 12:27 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • I usually try not to be ugly to people, but when it comes to my kids, and how I love them, well, it's no holds bared(sp). I tell people that it is none of there, business what I do for MY kids, when they start buying for them they can say something. Until then just SHUT UP! Or if I'm not up for that I just laugh, shake my head and walk away. None of my friends would ever say anything, even the ones without kids.
    morningstar1972

    Answer by morningstar1972 at 12:49 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • It's nobody's business what you buy or who you buy it for. People have no right to say anything at all.

    Laughter is the best way to respond, maybe a rolling of the eyes, too.
    SnapdragonSMT

    Answer by SnapdragonSMT at 12:55 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • How I respond depends on my mood and the tone and/or other comments from the person with all the answers. If it was a particularly opinionated person and I was feeling extra feisty, I might have said (in the case of the comments about you buying one child a coast and not the others) "Yup, and she's the only one I feed too." Or, "I'm sorry. Do I know you?" or "Thank you. I appreciate your concern" as I simply walk away.

    If it's someone like my DH's late aunt who never had kids but had tons of answers, I just nod and smile and then do what I think is best irregardless. It's not worth arguing or defending. They don't get it anyway. If it's a friend who has yet to have kids I might say "It all sounds good in theory and then you have kids and reality just sucks the life out of all those good plans." ;) I have 1 friend who, at this point is unlikely to have her own kids. I just nod and ignore a lot.
    ldmrmom

    Answer by ldmrmom at 12:59 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • I ignore them and tell them straight up that when they become parents then they can give advice.
    older

    Answer by older at 1:03 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • Heh, try having someone with apparently lacking parental skills telling you how to parent your kids. my sil got on my case last month because I posted on Facebook about my 10yo not minding. She told me I should relax more. Basically it came down to I have too many rules for the kids, too many chores, too much responsibility and they shouldn't have to do anything for themselves. She tells me we do it all wrong because the kids have to clean up after themselves, do their homework, follow the rules and listen. Only 1 of her kids lives with her (and only for the last 2 years). Her oldest is 19 and constantly in trouble with the law including her putting a restraining order on him. The other 2 are always in trouble at school, getting suspended and kicked off the bus. They don't have bedtimes or rules at her house. They can do whatever they want. But I'm the one doing it wrong. I just ignore her.
    justanotherjen

    Answer by justanotherjen at 1:40 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • I tend to ignore people like that, because they don't know what they are talking about. No two children grow at the same time or the same rate, so you have to buy their clothes at different times.
    dnna_g

    Answer by dnna_g at 2:18 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • just tell them they have no idea what they are talking about - shut up... etc... dont worry about them they REAlly do have NO IDEA what they are talking about.
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 2:38 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • My sis can be like that. She doesn't have kids, but knows exactly how I should be raising mine. With the jacket thing, I would just explain that Suzy needs a jacket. The other 2 don't. Easy enough.
    tel4him

    Answer by tel4him at 4:23 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

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