Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What the hell? Doesn't make sense to me..

My brother came to me with an issue about his girlfriend. They are early 20's and sexually active. He said he hates that he can't touch her "down there", but she'll have unprotected sex with him. What's that about? Even as an woman I don't get it. I'd rather someone touch me 'down there' with their hands, than have unprotected sex with them. She's even had a kid with a previous person so what the hell!? He said she's got a thing about germs, like she had some kind of bad infection or something. I said OK, maybe I'm oblivious to some medical info, but that sounds like and STD? I don't know, all I know is if she's not worried about having unprotected sex, what the hell does a "hand down there" matter? Help me out ladies because I'm helpless to my brother.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:24 PM on Nov. 19, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Wow.....I think that is something they need to work out.since he is young, you should encourage him to talk to her and ask her why.without them getting into a fight over it.But that comes with age.Maybe she is a he/she?Me personally, that would be too much information from my brother.But if he is asking for help from you, you should help him.
    evelynwest

    Answer by evelynwest at 2:30 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • I don't know what to tell him. I mean that's so backwards to me. Unprotected sex has to be on the list of "dirty encounters" when it comes to germ-freaks.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:33 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • Tell him that since she does not want to be touched there than dont do it. maybe she just dont like it and she dont know how to tell him. i personally dont like it either. but as for you thinkin she had/has an std tell him he need to get tested and to start wearing condoms since she has a thing with "germs"
    NATTY567

    Answer by NATTY567 at 2:39 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • he shouldn't be having unprotected sex with her in the first place unless he wants an std since she mentioned has germ problems. i don't get it either but i get that he shouldn't be doing any unprotected with her. total red flag.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 2:53 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • Maybe I am weird but, I don't like it either. It not about germs for me though. It is uncomfortable and if my husband's fingernails are not clipped right he will scratch me. I am fine with everything else sexually with my husband just not his hand going down there.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 2:57 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • I don't know if I'm way off base here but woman who have been sexually abused in their youth tend to have strange feelings towards very specific things when it comes to sex. Being touched down there can be a very intimate thing and maybe she is not comfortable with that. You can disconnect from sex but when someone is touching you and focusing on you it can bring a sense of discomfort to the person on the recieving end. Especially if that person was a victim of sexual abuse. I know that sounds strange to some, but I think anyone who has been abused sexually can understand what I mean. I'd try to find out if that is the real reason behind her not wanting to be touched.
    Su-Z-Q

    Answer by Su-Z-Q at 3:18 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • He really needs to talk to her.... any speculation is really pointless.. the only person who knows WHY is her.
    whatever606

    Answer by whatever606 at 3:20 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • It's actually a lot of females in the world that don't like to be fingered and she could be one. She might not know the right way to tell him, so she made up something stupid about germs. On the other hand your brother should be a little worried if she said that she doesn't like him to touch her vagina because she could possibly have an STD. Your brother should get tested and if he can maintain, then don't have sex with her especially not unprotected. Tell your brother to talk to her about it and see whether or not she just simply don't like it, or if she's hiding a dirty little secret. Tell him to be safe, rap it up, and good luck.
    ms.busybody

    Answer by ms.busybody at 3:49 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • well it could be like one person said, the fingernails too long. i know one time, my now husband, then boyfriend, accidentally scratched me and i ended up with a syst. they had to do surgery to drain it and everything...and i swear they didn't numb it. so it could have been that, not an STD. he just needs to talk to her about it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:03 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • fingernails suck-nuff said.
    chyna_doll

    Answer by chyna_doll at 5:46 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN