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Working with people you seriously dislike--vent

This is a long vent about how I hate it when one of the nosy guys I work with tries to use his position, and "expertise" to influence my section.

Okay so there are two males at my work that I have to deal with every day. One, let's call him Joe, works directly for me as the assistant manager (me being the manager) for our section, and I get along with him great. He makes sure that I have all the information I need, and makes sure our section is always on top of all our missions. The other, let's call him Doug, kind of works along side me. I fall in his department for personnel accounting, but not for management. My boss (the assistant general manager), is his boss's (general manager) most senior ranking assistant.

So, when I first took my job, I was recommended above a lot of peers, even though I was junior to them in years and experience, because I was the best at what I do. Well, Doug had worked in another region, doing the job I just got promoted to do, before he transferred to where I work, and got the job he currently works in (which by the way, is NOT related to what I do/what he used to do). Because he is "more experienced" than me, AND has done the position I currently hold in two other regions, he has always thought he has Carte Blanche to come and tell me how to do my job. Never mind that my job, though the same title as his former job, has way more people than his ever did. Never mind that it has unique properties because of our location. Never mind that I got put into the position in my career before he got put into the position in his career....he still thinks he can try to tell me how to run my SHOP!

Thank fully, I just got my new assistant manager Joe in, who is the BEST! He's incredibly knowledgeable, hard working, and makes sure to inform me about everything. My old assistant manager, lets call her Diane, and I never got along, and Doug was always using that against both of us to "extract" information beneficial to him, and to attempt to control us (even though we don't fall under his control). Joe, within 2 weeks, completely stopped all of that, and made it impossible (basically) for Doug to come around bullying.

So, yesterday, one of Doug's personnel, Ron, needed some advice from one of my personnel, Karen. We were doing our best to advise him, and letting him know that he needed to go through procedures within is section that he hadn't done before we could do much for him. Nosy Doug decided to step into the office we were in, and meddle. Every time he does that, I'm up in the middle of the night "punching walls". Tonight is no exception.

I do not know HOW COME this guy gets under my skin so badly. The main thing that happened was that Doug extracted some information he wanted (the information we were freely giving to Ron), AND I didn't think it was important enough at the time to tell Joe what Doug wanted. So, when Joe came into the office, basically one minute after Doug left, I left, and sat down at my desk...and suddenly felt incredibly guilty, like I should have told him what we'd talked about, even though it didn't need to concern him. And now here I am at 2 am thinking that Doug might have gotten some sort of edge in between my new manager Joe and I...and hoping that Doug doesn't do what he used to do with Diane and I and try to divide us so that he can have more influence in our section, like before.

Now that I've written it all down, I think the best thing to do is just tell Joe tomorrow morning what Karen, Ron, and I...and subsequently Doug, were talking about. Joe, is a solid character, and most likely NOT losing sleep over this, so that means I shouldn't worry to much either, right? I can just talk to him in the morning, and it will be fine...right?

Has anyone else ever had to deal with something like this? How do you not lose sleep over this kind of crappy politics? Ugh, I'm just so tired of dealing with Doug's tactics.

Answer Question
 
ladymomtraveler

Asked by ladymomtraveler at 12:38 PM on Feb. 23, 2011 in Money & Work

Level 16 (2,950 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • You do not know why.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:39 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • My head hurts.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:42 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • i don't have an answer. i have not had to deal with people like that in my office. i recommend joining the full time working mom's group for better advice than you could get out here amongst the ignorant wolves. http://www.cafemom.com/group/96636/
    mellypoo

    Answer by mellypoo at 12:43 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • I would get my job search in high gear!
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 2:14 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • LOLE at Mel. <3
    Candi1024

    Answer by Candi1024 at 2:54 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • Ladies, thanks for your responses.

    At Mel, thank you for the group suggestion.

    At Anon#1, well, I know why it bothers me, I just haven't figured out how to get tougher skin or whatever yet...there's probably a way, and it frustrates me that I havne't figured it out.

    At Anon#2...Mine too!!

    At rkololms---yes...Thankfully, I had already been working on that. I'm going to another region/different job (same company) in a few months. I have paid training for the new job too. I just need to survive these last few months working with Doug.

    ladymomtraveler

    Comment by ladymomtraveler (original poster) at 5:41 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

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