Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

This makes me sad

my daughter is 4 and in preschool, my daughter is girly but she also like car, trucks, iron man, super hero's, stuff like that and i dont wanna tell her she cant like that stuff cause honestly i dont really care, that is her choice and i want her to feel like she wont be teased for it. she likes girly clothes and 98% of her clothes are girly but there is the other 2% that is ironman or chipmunks, well i try to send her to school in her girly clothes but today she begged to wear her ironman shirt, so i let her and when we got to school a lil girl came and asked her if she owned any girl clothes. my daughter wasnt sure what to say so i stepped in and said nicely " yeah she does but she likes iron man too".

now i understand i cant protect her from everything and kids will say hurtful things and she will have to learn to just ignore it but is there anything maybe i could tell my daughter to make her feel better? even though she is 4 i am still new at the school thing and i feel awful for her. this is the first thing that has ever came up like this, my daughter is loved by everyone, all the kids like her and she tries so hard to be everyones friend, so i dont think she understands why this new girl said that.

Answer Question
 
michigan_mom87

Asked by michigan_mom87 at 12:58 PM on Feb. 23, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 4 (30 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Just tell her that sometimes people don't know how to say things nicely and the little girl probably wasn't used to seeing cool things like iron Man t-shirts. I'm not sure what else you could do. I have a little boy and he likes girls clothes...most kids don't care but his grandfather HATES it.
    erinwhitt

    Answer by erinwhitt at 1:00 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • tell her that she's getting to enjoy 100% of what's out there, and that unfortunate little girl is only getting things that girls are expected to like. it might be a little early for this one, but later tell her that if she's interested in things other than girly things now, she'll have a better time relating to boys later! even if you can't protect her next time, these battles will shape her into a better adult. it's hard being different, but being awesome doesn't come easy. we all know what happens to girls who are easy.
    mellypoo

    Answer by mellypoo at 1:02 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • ~*Wow*~... I never see people saying anything about girls playing with and doing girl stuff, not even when I was a kid playing with and collecting HeMan and G.I. Joe (back when black cats were bought off the ice cream truck to be dynomite!!)

    People usually bash boys for playing with dolls...
    MommaClark3

    Answer by MommaClark3 at 1:05 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • I don't have a little girl so the only advice I can give is to make her feel as comfortable as you can, as long as you let her know she is beautiful no matter what she wears she will always appreciate you for it.
    MomofSteel

    Answer by MomofSteel at 1:05 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • err boys stuff...
    MommaClark3

    Answer by MommaClark3 at 1:06 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • * My son wore Abby Caddaby socks to daycare this morning because he loves her - its probably one of the few "girly" items he owns besides fake necklaces and he wanted to wear them and I don't have a problem with it, as soon as he walked in, the daycare providers son said they were girl socks, I said NO, they are girl OR boy socks - everyone can love Abby - and then his mom agreed with me and that was that - but I understand what you are saying.. I am new to this too and trying to get him to be his own little person and not be influenced by others already but I deep down know it will happen, I see it when he comes home and says things.. makes me sad too
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 1:07 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • her dad and i tell her every day how pretty and beautiful she is. and this is the first day in months she wore her iron man shirt. i had a friend ask me why i let her play with boy toys and i just told her because she likes that stuff and i am not hiding her from it, and then she just told me she would never let her daughter play with boy toys. i then told her to mind her own business
    michigan_mom87

    Comment by michigan_mom87 (original poster) at 1:09 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • yeah i want her to know whatever she decides to like is ok and that everyone has their own opinion and thats ok.
    michigan_mom87

    Comment by michigan_mom87 (original poster) at 1:12 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • I totally understand how you feel! my daughter is 11 now and has gone through so may similar experiences. She's also very girly and loves sparkly clothes and shoes but she also likes things like the WWE. Some kids think she's TOO girly and tell her she has horrible taste in clothes. Others think it's crazy she likes "boy" things. She's figuered out that she can't please everyone, so she pleases herself.
    I'd love to wrap my "baby" in my arms and protect her from all things that could hurt her ... but I can't. All I can do is to continue to teach her to be a loving, decent human beign who stands up for herself and isn't afraid to express herself. All I can do is be there for her and let her know that I love her, support her and help help her when things become too hard for her to handel on her own. It's just part of letting her growing up.
    cecyh9

    Answer by cecyh9 at 1:15 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • I'm sorry for your problem....and that your daughter was asked that. But all I can think about is that I wore jeans and t-shirts just about every day of school. The only time I wore a dress or anything else 'girly' was when my mom forced me (like picture day- I finally got smart and stopped telling her). I was such the tom boy....still am really. I still love my jeans and tshirts.

    But the really sad thing is that a 4 year old cares what someone else is wearing. My son could care less what his friends wear.
    SouthernMama08

    Answer by SouthernMama08 at 1:21 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.