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Marriage counsling

please dont bash me, this is hard enough already. my husband and I have been having issues because he has been abusing prescription pain pills and alcohol. He has finally admited he has a problem and started attending NA meetings and agreed and go to marriage counsling to try to fix the damage he did to our marriage. We went to our first session yesterday and we were talking to the counseler and I mentioned about his problem with the pills and that buys them from a friend. He is now paranoid she is going to report hoim to the cops for illegaly buying pain medicne and is pushing back on me for attending the cousling again. Can she do that, can she call the cops on him? is that something she has to report? I thought it was confidential? Please help me.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:18 PM on Feb. 23, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Chances are, she won't. I went through outpatient counseling with my older sister for her opiate addiction, and the counselor knew well enough that my sister was buying scripts off the street once she ran out of pills that doctors prescribed and she never said anything, just continued on with helping her. I think they're more concerned with helping rather than hurting the patient more.
    Nanixh

    Answer by Nanixh at 1:24 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • I think the counselor has bigger fish to fry. I could be wrong here but I think unless they hear about serious crimes like abuse, murder, etc then they aren't really going to report it. People are on drugs all the time and I never hear of someone being reported it for it. Frankly the counselor could report your husband, too, considering he just admitted to buying and using drugs himself. I also don't think that a counselor calling the cops and saying "Fred told me Sally sold him drugs" is enough for them to go on some crazy drug raid of her house. It sounds more like your hubby is using this as an excuse to get out of counseling. If he is that worried then call the counselor and ask her straight out if you need to worry that anything that was said yesterday about your husband's friend is going to be passed on. Then you know the answer and hubby can't use it to get out of counseling.
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 1:25 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • it doesn't really matter....think about it sweetie...dh's reaction is the thought of his supply drying up.
    you also might want to go to AL-ANON to help you see. http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/english.html
    when someone is addicted to something (i'm a food addict), we manipulate anyone and everything to get what we want. you need that outside support to recognize these behaviors to help you and dh be successful.
    best! xo
    liteofmine71

    Answer by liteofmine71 at 1:27 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • Professionals like that should be able to produce a copy of the privacy policy on demand. You should ask at your next meeting or e-mail her and ask her to give you a copy of the privacy policy and explain it to you. A good thing to say would be: "I just want to fully understand what is going on and how confidential our discussions are so my husband and I can be more comfortable talking to you." I think she will understand and work with you.
    amber710

    Answer by amber710 at 1:28 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • I said the same thing to him about seeming like he was using it as an excuse to get otu of counsling. He was worried about her reporting HIM for buying not the other guy for seeling. I have checked into al anon too and I Was going to call the counsler but I didn't want tomake her think it was any more of a big deal.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:29 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • BTW, I think it is great that you are trying to help him and work on things instead of turning around and running for a divorce like so many people today. You have alot of courage and perseverance and I hope things get better for you guys soon.
    amber710

    Answer by amber710 at 1:30 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • She can report something that puts someone's life in danger, but unless he said the friends name, it is doubtful, keep on plugging away, and perhaps you need to see a psychiatrist who could prescribe him medicine that could be tapered down, many pain pills are just as dangerous to come off of cold turkey as herion! Hugs!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 2:08 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • Legally she cannot report anything to anyone period.it would be a break of their privacy code.She could be sued if she did that.I have been where you are dear.I had to put my dh in for treatment.it did the trick,has not touched anything in 11 months now.I have the man i married back.Its a hard road but my dh saw for himself the damage done.It is a daily thing,he will always have a problem and we deal with it .It nearly killed me to have to do what i have done.He admitted himself which is better ,just know if he does admitt himself,he can also sign himself out.Very expensive.But a few meeting with a council will not do it.His family was not there for us,(mom,sister).If i had had their support i think it would have worked without him going into a facility for treatment. .But no matter how hard this was on me or him or our grown children,i would do it again.My dear sweet man i married is back.Cost was 5500.per week.my best to u.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:15 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

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