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Talking to the enemy

Long story but I will try to make it short as possible. My nephew was fooling around with this girl about a year ago. He meets this other girl, dates her for a couple of months and then marries her. The first girl claims that she is pregnant by him. The thing is the dates do not add up. So he tells her once the baby is born he wants a DNA test. The baby was born "premature" so she say(he is nine pounds). Wifey is upset because she had a miscarriage so she and my brother were constantly fighting over the baby. She wanted him to make sure it is his before he start spending money and time with him. Later she apologize to the girl and told her if it is her husband baby she will treat the baby like she would her child(had one by previous relationship). The damage is done by now. My nephew told his mom and my sisters and my mom about the situation. So now everyone hates wifey and won't talk to her, they refuse to go to her daughter's 5th birthday party. I love my family but the are being real childish. Me and wifey would always make nice but we never hung out like that. My sister on the other hand use to have play dates for the kids and go shopping with her. Now that all this has happened she refuse to even talk to the wifey(also sending threatened messeges). Since she is part of this family I decided to reach out to her. We talk or message each other on face book. My family has found out this and now they refuse to talk to me. Nephew wants a divorce, my sister and mom invited the girl over with the baby,got mad when i refuse to come over to see the baby. I told them until we can prove that it is his child i am not going to make friends with this girl. What should I do about the situation? I know that my nephew and wifey has to work it out. But I don't want to choose between my family and wifey. What they doing is wrong.


Asked by babygirl0782 at 3:25 PM on Feb. 23, 2011 in Relationships

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Answers (13)
  • dna test doesn't take forever, I think the test will resolve all issues, why is your nephew lagging on the test? why is he disrespecting his wife by letting his family treat her like that?

    Answer by Azita888 at 3:28 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • He refuse to take the test becasue he "knows that the baby is his" His mom is the problem she is always in his ear

    Comment by babygirl0782 (original poster) at 3:29 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • Well honestly if he has decided he is going to accept this child then what right do you have to say you refuse to? It is his choice, not yours. As for his marriage, again, if he has chosen to end it, then thats his choice, not yours. I dont see why you cant be friends with his soon to be ex though. That shouldnt really matter. Usually though there is more then one side to a story and what you are getting from his wife might just be her side. Maybe you should call and ask him why he wants a divorce and if there wasnt anything more going on you havent been told about.

    Answer by gemgem at 3:30 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • Very well explained by the way...... I mean my GOD what a family?!?!? who does that? I feel bad for wifey and don't really get why the fam is disrespecting her like that.... Wrong on so many levels... Sorry I choose wifey's side, no need to hate the girl(wifey) or be mean to her.

    Answer by MelissaAnn224 at 3:31 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • Your nephew most definitely needs a DNA test to be done. a 9lb premature baby....sounds pretty fishy to me!!

    Answer by Mommyto2LilMen at 3:31 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • My friend had her baby at 35 weeks, he was 9lbs. The baby daddy didnt think it was his because his family said the same thing you are., Guess what? Turned out it was his. The baby was just big.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:33 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • I feel sorry for his wife :(
    But theres really nothing you or anyone can do if your nephew wants a divorce...that problem is between the two of them. Everyone else needs to stay out of it and let them handle it.
    Its good that you are an ear and a shoulder for her to have.
    Sounds like a really tough situation...hope all works out well for everyone.

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 3:34 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • @gemgem their relationship is their business. I don't know all the detail. I am saying my family is not talking to me because i talk to her. They did this a few years back. He started dating my best friend and when things didn't work out between them the whole family trashed her and expected me not to have a relationship with her. They didn't talk to me for months. That is my problem. I am trying to explain why they are not talking to me.

    Comment by babygirl0782 (original poster) at 3:35 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • The wife was in the right, both for insisting on the test and then for being the bigger woman and making nice when there was no call to.

    The family is DEAD wrong and your nephew is an idiot; first for not getting the paternity test and second for getting married so quick (and sorry, wifey is not too bright for that either).

    Your best move? Withdraw from the LOT of them. All of them. Your family is the one you and your husband have made. You don't need the rest of the drama.

    Answer by gdiamante at 3:37 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • @anon it may be possible to have a 9lbs premmie, but this girl has been around the block if you know what I mean.

    Comment by babygirl0782 (original poster) at 3:37 PM on Feb. 23, 2011