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How can I get a long better with my fiance's adult girls- 20,18 and 16?

jealous and needy teens do not like sharing their dad with me! WHat do i do?

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mom3almazan

Asked by mom3almazan at 3:30 PM on Nov. 19, 2008 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Just be nice to them no matter what but don't let them push your buttons.Also dad needs to help in this dept so they will know that you are important too. you didn't say what type of things they did/do to make you not get along.
    Kat122

    Answer by Kat122 at 5:23 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • Why don't you invite them out for a "girls only" afternoon? You could go for lunch, all get your nails done, and do some shopping for the holidays. Let them know you'd like to get to know each of them better and keep dad out of your conversations with them. It might ease their fears of losing their dad to you.
    PrttyMstng

    Answer by PrttyMstng at 6:28 AM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • I wouldn't be marrying pops until the last one was out the door and off to college! Living with females that hate you for stealing their dad away from them isn't a nice environment! If that isn't an option then I guess I'd just ask them what would make them cut you some slack? Assure them that they are not driving you away and call a truce or tell them you can make their life a living hell! LOL I'm so mean!
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:28 PM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • When my dad married his 5th wife, I was 19. It wasn't anything personal - I just figured she'd be gone soon like all the others & didn't want to get to know her so I wouldn't be hurt. They've been married for 22 years now and I love her dearly. She never got in my face, was just always there, quietly loving my dad. She never tried to tell me what to do, or shoved her beliefs down my throat. Teen girls are hard to reach - my own stepdaughter is 18 and doesn't like me, so I feel your pain! Nothing you can do will change their minds. Remember that your spouse comes first and do right by your hubby - the rest will fall into place eventually. Good Luck!
    greenergypsy

    Answer by greenergypsy at 11:18 AM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • Growing up, I had a step-mom. She was horrible to us and we hated her. I can tell you what NOT to do! LOL.


    1) DONOT LOCK THEM OUTSIDE AND LET YOUR KIDS STAY INSIDE.


    2) DON'T ACT LIKE YOUR THEY'RE MOM. THEY PROBABLY ALREADY HAVE ONE AND WOULD FEEL LIKE YOUR TRYING TO TAKE HER PLACE.


    3) WHEN YOUR IN A DISAGREEMENT WITH ON OF THE GIRLS, DON'T BRING THEY'RE FATHER INTO IT. THEY'LL FEEL LIKE YOUR TRYING TO TURN HIM AGIANST THEM.


    My step-mom was so mean to us. She did all of these things that I told you not to do. I'm not psychologist, but girls (especially teens) can be hard to get along with. Just try to find some common ground. Be friends with them- it may be hard at first but they will come around. I'mm 22 now and my step-mom and I get along fine. Just let them come around and let them know that your not taking they're dad away. Good Luck. :)

    NewArrival

    Answer by NewArrival at 1:49 PM on Nov. 22, 2008

  • In all honesty....Don't take offense to this but they're adult women and they probably don't have to have a reason to not like you. From personal experience, let them come around. Let them get use to the idea of you being around first. Don't plan a girls afternoon out. I don't think it would be a very big hit. Honestly I think you would probably be the center of their jokes behind closed doors. I know that it's very important for you to feel welcome and a part of the family. All you can do is be yourself and don't let them try to bully you or talk down to you. They need to understand that they are not the boss...But you also need to understand that you are not the boss either. If they cannot accept you for who you truly are then it's their loss and they'll learn in time whether or not they missed out.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:21 PM on Nov. 23, 2008

  • ask them, they are old enough to give you a real answer and do it while they are all together, that way they wont ignore you. i would have paid good money if my step-mom even thought of asking me what i thought of her or how we can become friends, she was just straight up mean though. just ask them
    MamaChamberlain

    Answer by MamaChamberlain at 11:09 PM on Nov. 25, 2008

  • RUN..............VERY.................FAST


































    twice24sd

    Answer by twice24sd at 7:41 AM on Dec. 4, 2008

  • Ya thats a tough one... I step back a bit and maybe not be as lovey dovey with their dad when they are around. And don't force it... don't try and make them your friends... just do what you do and maybe they will open up to you.
    dtetz

    Answer by dtetz at 3:17 PM on Dec. 21, 2008

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