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He hit his sister...for sticking up for him!! what do I do here...

My son is seven his sister right below him is four...he has friends over after school occasionaly and we have always let her play with the boys as long as things dont get to rough...well he had a buddy over after school today and they all went to play in his room (lil sis included) and after about a half hour she starts crying so I go in to find out what happened and his sister tells me he hit her with his plastic baseball bat on accident...the friend says she was hitting him and he threw my son the baseball bat...my son has said nothing so far so I sent the friend home...after talking to both my children I find out that the friend was hitting my son repeatedly my daughter grabbed a toy lightsabor and started hitting the friend telling him to leave her brother alone and then the friend throws my son a baseball bat and he wacks his siter in the face with it!! I am appauled that my son would do that...I mean it is one thing to not stand up for your self which I feel he should have done in the first place but it is a whole nother matter to turn coat on your little sister after she makes the decision to stand up for you particularly against a boy nearly twice her age and size! Beyond that he knows he is never to hit a girl under ANY cercomstances and he did and she knows she isn't suposed to hit either but I am having a hard time being upset with her over it I mean the kid was hitting her brother and she wanted to put a stop to it, it took some guts to stand up for him like that...I have told them they are both in trouble for being violent and that if this friend causes similar problems the next time he is in my house then he will not be allowed to return...I told my daughter that next time she needs to come talk to me instead of hitting and her brother has been told that his friends shouldnt be hitting him or his sister and if they are he needs to ask them to leave because he doesnt need friends like that...I told my son that if he wants to have friends over it is his job to make sure they follow the rules in our house and that if he cant stand up to his friends and make sure they are upholding his house rules then he wasn't old enough to have friends over...I am just really concerned that he didn't stand up for himself at all and that when his sister did the only thanx she got was a bat to the face...that really makes me wonder about the kids priorities and if he is letting his 'friend' hit him and doing nothing then what else is he letting happen to him in order to gain exceptense? I know he is kind of a timid kid but I dont want to be raising a door matt he needs to stand up for himself...I dont know what to do to help him do that and I dont want to encourage him to be violent...I dont know any thoughts ladies?

 
pregoagain2010

Asked by pregoagain2010 at 7:52 PM on Feb. 23, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (6)
  • I think its great you encourage your son to include his sister when playing with friends. I actually find it ridiculous people don't encourage siblings to play together. I had 2 younger brothers growing up and I was always made to let them play too when I had friends over. And my brothers were expected to do the same. As we got older our friends started to merge because of it. I'm 18 months older then one, and 4 years older then the other. My son is 5 years older then his sister and I fully expect him to include her in play around the house when he has friends over. We don't exclude based on gender. That being said I'm with you, I'd be concerned he hit his sister for defending him, and I would be furious he hit a girl. There's never a reason for a boy to hit a girl, ever, in my opinion. If she's punching he can walk away. I'd continue communication, and maybe find a new friend. This one sounds like bad news all around.
    ba13ygrl1987

    Answer by ba13ygrl1987 at 9:10 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • Just me personally I would not allow her to play with the boys. (that is just me). Now as far as the incident. You talked to them and told them the consequences so perhaps it won't happen again. He is only 7 so give him a little time before you judge his motives.
    sondaughter312

    Answer by sondaughter312 at 7:59 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • I think he could just be embarrassed that his sister had to jump in and help. Just remind him that brothers and sisters are suppose to stick up for each other but no one is suppose to hit. GL
    aheuszel

    Answer by aheuszel at 8:04 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • Keep the little girl away from the boys
    BigMomm4

    Answer by BigMomm4 at 11:49 PM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • I agree with ba13grl1987. Children can play together without it turning sexual for gosh sakes :(. The time will come very soon where big brother will not want his sister hanging out with him. Let it go until then. Im betting your son was probably embarressed by little sis sticking up for him. I think for now I would keep the kids playing out in the open. I would explain to son that hitting his sister is unexceptable . I would also explain to the child who was doing the hitting on your son that in your home hitting isnt allowed and if he'd like to play at your house he must abide by your rules. Good Luck Momma :)
    mistynights234

    Answer by mistynights234 at 9:22 PM on Feb. 25, 2011

  • Why do you let the little girl play with her brother and friends? Seriously, you never know what is going to happen. Kids are curious at that age. They may get curious and decide to check out the difference between girls and boys up close and personal. It has been know to happen. Why put your daughter in a position where she can be hurt or molested? Kids know a lot more at a younger age than we did. That being said, he shouldn't have hit her. I would not let that other child in my home again, pierod. He is abusing your son and encouraging your son to abuse his sister. Don't you see what is wrong with this picture? Lastly, what if a girl that is bigger than your son decides to haul off and hit him? You are teaching him not to defend himself? Maybe that is where his refusal to stand up for himself is stemming from???
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:25 PM on Feb. 23, 2011