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Marriage and Money

Am I ignoring the signs? I have a husband who has two children prior to our5 mth.old son. At the beginning of our marriage I noticed small things concerning money&did not want to jump on it right away as we were newly weds. I have not noticed any change since. My husband shies away from the issue of money &whenever I bring it to him it becomes a bitter conversation.He does not clean up behind himself or at all.I have tried to budget & explain this is a burden for me& I need his help. I understand that he has children, but even at tax season his money goes to his childrens mother for back child support.For the first time ever my electricity was shut off because i had to use funds to buy needs for the baby. He has not even exercised any concern.I am lost. I know the vows say for "rich or for Poorer, but i feel he is taking advantage. He wants another child,YEAH right. Am i wrong? What am I doing wrong?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:40 PM on Nov. 19, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • You need to let him know what is on your mind but start off saying I don't want to argue I love you so please hear me out I understand you have to support your kids but don't neglect your new family.
    Girl I know what you are feeling I am in the same boat 12 years into it believe me it might seem like forever but it goes by so fast just keep your chin up and pray to God. I am not saying you will not have your ups and downs just make the best of it. Think positive never say anything bad about his kids then you will have another thing to agrue about, just take care of yours.GL
    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 5:03 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • i didnt' think they could turn the power off when you have a young baby in the house like that...i'd make him talk about it, and remember, it's not all his fault, you should have brought it up the moment you noticed it, newlywed or not.
    armywife43

    Answer by armywife43 at 4:44 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • Does he have a job? Is he at least working? Maybe he made some BAD decisions previously and is embarrassed. You're going to have to find a way to talk to him about this. If his credit is bad, you all need to clean it up if you want to buy a house.
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 5:17 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • Marriage and money should never be used in the same sentence. I solved any argument over finances: we have separate bank accounts. He is responsible for the mortgage, I pay the utilities.

    He may well be embarassed about his financial situation. However, you need to ask him what his expectations are as far as paying the household bills goes. You also need to explain your expectations. This is a conversation you need to have SOON. If not, it's just going to escalate. Just ask him if he would have an hour of free time to talk to you about finances. Tell him you're not going to bitch, you just need to have a reasonable conversation about bills, etc. Make an appointment with him when there will be no distractions and really listen to him.

    Best of luck!
    SkyeGirl

    Answer by SkyeGirl at 7:01 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

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