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3 Bumps

Do you now or have you ever loved more than one man at a time?

I guess I just wonder if I'm the only one. I'm sure I'm not, but I'm curious.
I am in a monogamous marriage but my heart isn't.
I do now, and have loved my husband's brother as a man for probably about 10 years now.
He makes my heart leap every time I see him.
I won't tell anyone not to bash because I know they will. Just don't expect a big reaction.
Feel free to express any comments you would like, but I really do think I've heard it all. Things like 'it's not real,' it's just because it's your husband's brother, get out of dream land, all kinds of thing.
I have tried to do all those things, I've been to counseling and at one point even considered getting hypnotized.
But I think what has always given me the most peace was just accepting my feelings as my own, and to stop feeling guilty. To tell myself that it's OK.
I am not having a affair and it never has been. Believe it or not, my husband knows and accepts it.
I try to remind myself of what my husband told me when it gets tough, made more sense than any other thing I was ever told.
"It's OK to feel the way we feel, we can't control feelings, but we can control what we do about them."

Guess it just feels good to confess every now and again ;)

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:18 PM on Feb. 23, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Nope.

    Answer by HKing01 at 9:19 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • I love all kinds of people -- my kids, my brother, my dad, my husband, many of my friends...

    Love is not a pie to be shared out among the people closest, but a fire to light up your life --the more you share it, the brighter the world is.

    And, yes, if you mean 'this guy gets me seriously hot' --that, too. I am also monogamous, but that doesn't mean I can't see what else is hot out there, or just enjoy those happy little crushes, without doing anything about them.

    I also point out the cute ones in tight dresses, in case dh wasn't looking the right way. The world is filled with beauty and joy --it's a good idea to be able to spot it from a distance.

    Answer by LindaClement at 9:21 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • yes i have and do . i still love my first love and always will we still are very good friends and i have told him i still love him. my fiance also knows this and under stands he nows i dont wont leave him for my ex but i will always love .

    Answer by blinkys11 at 9:24 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • sounds like a healthy attitude to me LindaClement :)

    I've even had a professional confess to me that he was envious that I have two people in my life that give me so much.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:26 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • No, and I never will or could. I love only ONE Man, now and forever ~ and that is my Husband. He is the only one I want and love and who deserves my love. And, there is NO ONE better than Him.

    Answer by -AJ at 9:30 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • i dont know thats really possible -- to love 2 men romantically at same time.

    Answer by letstalk747 at 9:44 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • It is completely possible and yes I have. There are different reasons for loving someone, and different parts of a person you love or fall in love with them because and different parts of you that a person fulfills.

    Answer by jamesonjustines at 10:38 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • i passed up the perfect guy back in high school. He liked me and i like(d) him and i knew he was 'the one' and we all got drunk one night and i threw up on his shoe... after that nothing happened. Ever guy that i've been with i've compared to this guy from my past that i was never actually with. I think about it all the time and i kck myself for it constanly. I think, "if i had just had one less beer that night it would've been different." Well now i'm single and so is he and we both just recently moved back to out hometown and next week my cousin and i are celebrating our birthdays together and my long lost love is coming. So i'm gonna talk to him and see :) And honestly i've told men that i've loved them before and truth be told i have NEVER cared about a man as much as i care about him....

    but my situation and yours are completely different, i feel very conflicted if i were you and my heart goes out to you... GL

    Answer by lashes325 at 11:23 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • Yes I believe it can happen.I still love a man that I was with many years ago and can't get him out of my mind.I loved him then with all my heart and I still do.I also love my husband with all my heart but for different reasons.

    Answer by Tikismom at 11:41 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • You are not alone, I have a really good frined that I dated back in high school, he just eecently told me that he is gay, but I love him, as he was my first love, and I love my hubby. There has been a couple times that I have wondered what life would be like if I was still with my hs sweetheart, but I know now, that things would have not worked out, and that God works in mysterious ways, because he is still in my life as a good friend and I have my husband as well

    Answer by djh0505 at 12:48 AM on Feb. 28, 2011

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