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5 Bumps

Ok, so I have been living the life of a heterosexual all my life, even married, but I am a do I tell my friends? adult content

I was in love with my high school sweetheart all my life. She was a woman. But I never acted on it because my dad was a pastor and felt it was wrong and I would go to hell if I ever acted on it. I lived over half of my life in a lie and I am tired of it. I want to find a wonderful woman to share the remainder of my life with. I have already told my family and they want nothing to do with me. Now I need to tell a close very close friend of mine and I do not even know how to approach it. I do not want to lose her friendship over it.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:19 PM on Feb. 23, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • If she's a good friend, she'll be with you. If she's not, you can live without her.

    Answer by LindaClement at 9:34 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • oh wow. Well..I mean be honest but maybe you don't have to say anything at all. If they don't ask don't worry. Really it is not their concern but if they turn their backs it is of fear not you. Just remember that. I am proud of you for facing reality and wanting to be happy. There is nothing wrong with that. I struggled for years with mine.

    Answer by jujubean1979200 at 9:35 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • A True Friend will be O.K.- She will want you to be Happy:) Wishing you lots of luck!

    Answer by daisyb at 9:46 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • Thank you ladies. I hate that I had to ask anonymously but she is on cafe mom.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:49 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • go to a neutral place (not your house, nor hers). Tell her that she[s one of your closest friends and there is something about yourself you feel the need to tell her about. Believe it or not, she probably knows something, even if you were married. If she[s a true friend, she might be shocked, but will support you. ((hugs)) What you are doing is very difficult, and I admire you for it. It's not easy, but it's worth it. My ex hubby is gay, and I was one of the friends that stood by him when he came out, he is now Uncle W to my daughter (not his). Good luck with your friend!

    Answer by Belovedmoonpixi at 9:51 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • Honey, if she is your best friend she already has some sort of clue. If she is really a good friend she will love you no matter what. I am so happy you are living your life and are on the road to finding love.

    Answer by pnwmom at 10:21 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • Rent Boys on the Side or some other positive lesbian portrayal type movie and then start the conversation after. The first time someone came out to me, a boy in high school, was at the time the closest I had ever felt to another person and the most beautiful moment of my life thus far. He took me to see Madonna Truth or Dare and said I squeezed his hand during some pro gay scene and he knew it was going to be ok. Good luck!

    Answer by jamesonjustines at 10:36 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • Personally.. I think that you should sit your friend down, and tell them. If they are your real friend then they wont judge you, and they wont blow you off. but If you tell them your a lesbian and they blow you off and stop being your friend.. then they really were'nt your friend to begin with. Its good to be honest. I think that you are off to a great start by already telling your family! I hope they come around and "get over it" B

    Best of luck

    Answer by Nicole050411 at 11:13 PM on Feb. 23, 2011

  • She probably already knows.

    Answer by Inloveagain at 3:27 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • Sweetie, I feel for you! a true friend will never turn your back on you, kudos to you for standing up to the world that surrounds you. Please understand there are a lot of us who support you and stand by you, I am one off those, you are not alone!

    Answer by older at 6:50 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

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