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Is it normal for a mom to feel guilty for not working (even if on maturnity leave) after having a baby?

Stay at home mom guilt

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:47 PM on Nov. 19, 2008 in Money & Work

Answers (13)
  • I suppose people around you could be making you feel that you are not valuable unless you are earning $$. ... For myself, I fail to understand how it is more important to spend your life - hours and hours every week - taking care of a bunch of people at work, co-workers and customers, who don't especially need you (anybody else can step in and handle their needs). Rather than devote your time and energy spending time with people to whom you are the WORLD. For whom the sun rises and sets in your presence. ... Our society has succeeded in convincing a great many women that mothering is lazy. So I suppose you might feel guilty for being a "lazy" person. (Also, in my 53 years, I have never had more fun doing anything than when I was at home with our kids, so I guess I WAS guilty - of having more fun than most people do ... ?)

    Answer by waldorfmom at 4:54 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • I still do when the money is not flowing very well, but think how much money it costs to put your kid in daycare. By the time you pay for that you are not making much, and why pay to go to work when it is priceless to teach your children the values that you want and to beable to love them.

    Answer by bubblebean at 4:59 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • Yes--it is normal in our society because we don't value mothering like we once did and should. I agree with Waldorgmom---my kids are all raised and awesome young adults. I never realized how blessed I was to stay home with them AND home educate them through high school---until now. They are all very close to each other and me:-) They are all well employed and very responsible. They gave us very few problems. I really believe the best place for a mom to be is in the home raising and forming those little minds. I did at times feels guilty, but not when I look back on what I had and now have with my kids. The best 24 years of my life---so far:-)


    Answer by Anonymous at 5:04 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • It's normal to feel guilty about everything you DO and everything you DON'T do as a mother. Try not to let it get to you and just do what is best for your family.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:11 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • Why feel guilty for doing the best thing for your child.

    Answer by keyaziz at 5:59 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • Sometimes I feel guilty but you know what, my son is my son and it's not anyone else's job to raise him. Staying at home and raising a child is the most demanding job on the planet. I worked as a stock broker before I got pregnant and that was stressful but raising a child tops it. People who choose to return to work full time for some reason look at us as if we have it so easy and we are sitting on our buts all day long. You should be proud to be an at home mom, just think of the rewards your child will experience by having you and not a stranger caring for them. Be proud of yourself for even being able to handle being a SAHM; not everyone can.

    Answer by Jerseymom1228 at 6:26 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • You can feel guilty for not bringing in any money. But then if you go back to work, you are going to feel guilty about leaving your child to go to work. It is a double edged sword. Welcome to being a mother! However, if you know that you are doing the best that you can do for you and for your baby, then you have nothing to feel guilty about.

    Side note, for some reason every time I typed guilty, I typed quilty first.

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 6:35 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • I am and always have been a SAHM, but the bm of Bryson, our 2 week old just went back to work Monday 2 wks post partum because she was worried about not having money for her 3 yr old for Christmas.

    Answer by babycakes254 at 6:35 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • I actually feel guilt when I am working because I feel like I should be home raising my child. Ive never had guilt about not working.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:11 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • yes, because that is just a natural feeling of helping out the family, we all struggle with finances and any income helps. There are many ways to work from home, you might want to consider one of the companies here that many of us moms do.

    Answer by nanaevelyn at 9:55 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

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