I am having a really hard time making a decision. I was a sahm for the past 3.5 years, basically since my DS was born.
To make a really long story very short we moved to another country because hubby had businesses that were doing well there, and because he had lost his job in the states and we had no means to survive on. I had JUST finished college when all of this happened. I lived in the other country (hubby´s and my home country) for about 8 months, at first unsure about it, and right when I was loving it, we experienced criminal violence firsthand in our home, and became absolutely sure that I wanted to come back to the states. I was also done staying home all day with no DS, who is in preschool part time and with DH´s family at least 2 hours a day. So, I looked for a job, but it is a very poor country with very few jobs, looked for a few months. Nothing. Got a job offer in the states, and now I am here in the states, no DH, no DS. Its only been about a month... I miss them extremely.
Now I am stuck. Should I stay here? Pick up DS once I get my own place and live here without hubby (he is kind of unwilling to come live here again, which I do understand, the quality of life we have in our home country is far beyond better than the quality of life we will ever have in the states because we will both have to work full time jobs) or do I go back home and just keep my family together while continuing to put my wishes and desires for a career to a side?
Here is a little more background info. Hubby makes what is considered a great living in our home country. The equivalent of about three thousand dollars a month (the average family in the same country makes the equivalent of about 400 dollars a month)...
Here is the problem, he does not make enough for us to have all of our furniture, we have all the necessary things, but not ideal as we used to (we lost everything in storage, because when in states, before leaving to our home country, we couldn´t even afford to pay the storage unit, it was that or food on the table).. We also don´t have a car in our home country (we had one financed and could not afford to pay it after hubby lost his job in the states), hubby rides a moped, which is the most common form of transportation in the country we live in... Another issue, the only school that are accredited by the US are in the Capital, which is about a 35 min. drive and something that may be a little out of our range to pay (if I don´t have a job)...
Here is the thing.. if I choose to stay in the states for about a year, I could buy us everything we need, all the furniture and a vehicle... But that would be a big sacrifice, meaning I only see DS and DH every 2-3 months for two to three days, PLUS, which is the biggest issue, I am not sure if I want to go there and do the same thing I was doing, feel like I am doing NOTHING with my life, there is only ONE way I would be absolutely sure I would go back happily, and that is getting a job in this ideal place loving what I would love to do, earning US dollars, and being able to fill out my tax return every year while living abroad... THAT would allow me to pay for DS´s school, allow us to move to the capital (which for DH is not ideal, but has accepted, given the correct circumstances, which means my having the job I want which is in the Capital as well... )
What I desire however, right now, given our current situation in our home country, is to go pick up DS and make my life here... but that would mean I would be doing it as a single mother... Would you break up your family?
Asked by Anonymous at 9:38 PM on Feb. 23, 2011 in Relationships
Answer by Jademom07 at 9:44 PM on Feb. 23, 2011
Answer by LindaClement at 9:47 PM on Feb. 23, 2011
Answer by Jademom07 at 9:51 PM on Feb. 23, 2011
Answer by jamesonjustines at 10:43 PM on Feb. 23, 2011