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Does you or your SO commute? pls give advice

I am transferring universities
its 2 hours from where we currently live. My SO is willing to move with me an hour toward my new university, he has family in this city, but then he'd have an hour commute for work, and I would have an hour for school.

Pros and cons to moving or just staying where we are at now.


Asked by DomoniqueWS at 11:59 PM on Feb. 23, 2011 in Travel

Level 25 (23,109 Credits)
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Answers (10)
  • How long will you be in school? Do you own or rent? Do you have kids in school that would be disrupted?

    I wouldn't sell to move if I knew it was only temporary - unless hubby was planning on trying to transfer or find a new job.

    Also, the school schedule would make a difference to me. When I was in school my schedule was such that we wouldn't have missed much family time if I had commuted. Having hubby commute from a full time job would have cut allot more out.

    I moved almost every two years when I was in school and I turned out just fine, but I hope to limit those kinds of changes for my kids because it did make things difficult for me as far as friends were concerned. I know one move is allot different than 6, but its something I would consider heavily.

    Good luck with this decision and with school!

    Answer by angelmommy11 at 12:09 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • Cost is a huge factor. Last winter (in 09) my husband transferred jobs from Chicago to Milwaukee. It's like 80 miles or something but in city traffic...that is about 2 hours one way. We tried to find a place up there but couldn't so he commuted. He had to fill up every other day and it cost $60 each time (that was at least $180 a WEEK just in gas so $700+ a month just for gas...that's a week's worth of pay just for transportation). Then there was the emotional and physical toll. He left for work at 3am and got home around 8pm. That was for a regular 8 hour shift. He'd come home exhausted, tired and cranky. I was always alone to deal with the kids and felt like a single mother most of the time. It sucked. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone who wants to stay sane.

    Answer by justanotherjen at 12:04 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • How often will you attend school? If you are only going to be going there a couple/few times a week then stay where you are. Tough out the long drive. If you are going to be doing this commute like 4 or more times a week then I'd say make the move. You'll be surprised at how quickly you will become used to a long drive. I live in the boondocks of maine so I know all about long drives.

    Answer by Mel30248 at 12:04 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • My DH has a 25 mile each way commute. It is tiring for him. It takes about 25 minutes at 4 am, but coming home in the afternoon can take anywhere from 1/2 hour to 3 hours if it's snowing. We won't move closer because we don't like the area where he works for living. Plus it would then be that commute for our kids to get to their school (private religious prep school.)

    Answer by balagan_imma at 12:05 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • make a plan which is cost effective & comfortable to both of u

    Answer by A11 at 12:06 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • either way I am looking to commute, I abs refuse to live in the city where the university is...not a place for a family IMO

    its the different basically between commuting 2 hours 2-3times a day, and having everyone and everything local, my mom, sis, SO's job, and his school
    commuting an hour to school, and having my SO commute an hour for work as well 5-days a week

    but I think the better bet is me SO does work a lot and to make him commute to work just so I can be closer to school 2-3days a week doesnt seem fair.

    Maybe just move closer to my mom, which is 10miuntes away but closer to the freeway none the less...that way he can have help if I am gone

    thanks ladies....I just needed to brainstorm

    Comment by DomoniqueWS (original poster) at 12:10 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • @angelmommy
    I think just moving closer to my mom will be in the best interest of my son...that way my sister can be there for him, my mom can, and itll be easy for my SO just in case I hapen to go to school while he is working.

    We rent. the rent is cheaper in the place we were planning to move to...BUT I know if we moved once we'd be moving again so maybe I'll just tough out a longer drive since it'll only be 2-3days a week...more likely just 2

    Comment by DomoniqueWS (original poster) at 12:13 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • Pros = finish your goals toguether and cons = you wil lhave to sacrificate for some years to achieve your plan and continue.

    Answer by GlitteribonMom at 10:53 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • Moving closer to my mom would be a deciding factor for me ~

    Answer by tasches at 2:59 PM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • Sounds like your husband is willing to compromise, if you are willing to do the same...

    Right now, my house is equal distance between where I work and where I go to school. It is also about the same distance for my husband to get to his job. I think that it pretty fair...


    Answer by RebeccaAxeRosa at 1:27 PM on Feb. 26, 2011

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