Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

4 Bumps

If you have had a miscarriage, do you count that child if someone asks how many children have you had?

Someone asked me how many children have I had and I said, that I'd have had three in all but I miscarried one child. She said, "Ahhhh that wasnt a "real child" then! I told her then I will go out and kill one of her children and let her tell me how real they are.

Do you count a miscarriage in the number of children you have?

 
35yoamom

Asked by 35yoamom at 12:26 AM on Feb. 24, 2011 in Pregnancy

Level 20 (10,016 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (29)
  • Not a stranger, but a rude friend. Hmm. Can she not count then? Why the heck did she even feel the need to ask? While your reaction was a bit strong I certainly see where it would come from. "Excuse me!" possibly followed by "You don't even know how rude you are." seem like they might be handy phrases for this one. What a jerk. Treat her like a viagra commercial and change the channel.
    LoveMyDog

    Answer by LoveMyDog at 9:18 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • I would have slapped her myself....how RUDE
    ElenaC419

    Answer by ElenaC419 at 12:28 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • Your medical history needs to have it listed as x amount of live births, x amount of miscarriages.

    In the real world, however, that baby was one of your children, too. I agree I would have smacked the teeth right out of that woman's head.
    SpaceToast

    Answer by SpaceToast at 12:33 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • I don't. Then again if I hadn't been going through fertility treatments I would have just thought it was another failed cycle the m/c was so early. I didn't have all of the excited feelings and telling people time because I was told that I was pregnant and that I would more than likely lose it because of my very low HCg levels.

    I count it in the number of pregnancies I've had, though
    balagan_imma

    Answer by balagan_imma at 12:37 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • I have had a miscarriage. It was a planned pregnancy and very much wanted and loved. If that child had been born I would have had 3 total. I do count that child, but I don't say I've had 3 kids because it takes too much explaining and I don't want to be sad all over again and also don't want to tell strangers my personal losses. I always say I have had 3 pregnancies though, especially at the dr's office. I DEFINITELY consider that baby to be my child and know that dh and I will meet him/her again someday :-)

    SweetLoveofMine

    Answer by SweetLoveofMine at 12:39 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • I always say 2 my 3.5 yr and my 5.5 angel waiting for me in heaven. That really make me mad, she had no right saying that. I am a firm believer that as soon as conception is conceived they are babies. and no one will prove different or change my mind. I am sorry u had to hear someone tell u that. No one deserves to go through the pain of loosing a child , not to mention be told that is not really a child then? u r a better person then i am because i am not sure how I would have handled that. After mine, I wanted everyone to know that AUSTIN BLAIN is a person and he DID exist. i will keep u in mind and really hope things get better for u. If u need a good listener or to talk to someone who has gone through this please don't hesitate to reply back or friend me.
    brooklyndm

    Answer by brooklyndm at 12:43 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • I don't. But I feel guilty not adding them in. =(
    khedy

    Answer by khedy at 11:54 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • only for medical purposes...
    ElenaC419

    Answer by ElenaC419 at 12:28 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • Absolutely! Wether or not you carried the baby to term, that baby was still a part of you. It was growing inside you so yes, it is your child.
    proudmom2510

    Answer by proudmom2510 at 12:31 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • My daughter was stillborn, and I count her when asked how many children I have had.
    kmrtigger

    Answer by kmrtigger at 12:31 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN