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virgin until got married....please help!!!!

i was a virgin until i got married but the 1st time i had sex it was painful,and my husband didn t care he just wanted to put it in,i cried,suffered..and still didn t lose it until a week after,but every night i had to go throw it and cry but he wouldn t understand,even though he loves me,but he never had experience with a virgin
i was so scared every night he came from work,now we ve been married since 1year,and i still have pain when we have sex it would not go in,and i m expecting a baby really soon,does that mean labor is gonna be more diffcult?and why i don t have no pleasure,i just have sex for him
does that mean i m gay?or what could it be?and what can i do to have pleasure?plz helppppppp

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:29 PM on Nov. 19, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Your problem isn't your sexuality in my opinion. It is a lack of comfort in your situation. You are too scared and nervous to get to a point where you can enjoy yourself and him. Your labor may be more difficult, but I really hold to the ideal that your problems with sex are about the comfort level. You need to stop him from doing this to you. Talk to him, or take him with you to the doctor and bring it up. Let him hear what the doctor has to say. I personally think that if this is really what is going on behind closed doors with you, there is something seriously wrong with the picture.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:37 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • Have you mentioned this to your doc? You really should. I don't think you are gay, it may be some thing with your body. And if labor gets too bad, there is always an epidural waiting!

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:38 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • I doubt it would make labor more difficult, especially if it is the vaginal opening. If you haven't talked to your gyn/ob about this you should.

    Answer by Bmat at 5:41 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • My mom had this problem when she married. My Dad (gross) could not get it in. She spent her honeymoon crying alone while dad went to a bar because he was frustrated. She went to the dr and found out she had a very thick hymien, most people lose it early do to sports, tampons or sex. She her and dad to have it surgicaly removed. But after she able to enjoy sex. Yeah for them

    Answer by hotrodlassie at 5:45 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • Sorry, she had to have it surgically removed

    Answer by hotrodlassie at 5:46 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • It probally just means he is large and you are not broke in yet.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:17 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • Please consider taking lamaze lessons so child birth won't hurt. You will be in control. It's possible that because of the way he treats you (just taking you) that you can't relax and enjoy. Great sex is 80% or more mental. Women need the foreplay and the pleasure to get worked up and relax and get wet and ready for penetration. Maybe you can talk with him and see if he'd work harder at pleasing you first. You could mention it to your doctor as well but I'm guessing the doctor isn't seeing anything physical that is wrong. No, you are not gay bc of this. It's bc he's not a good lover. He needs to work on it or you need to pleasure yourself before he starts sniffing around wanting some. Try some toys but you might want to wait until after the baby comes.

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:25 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • Once you have that baby I'm pretty sure it won't hurt anymore. It will help.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:32 AM on Nov. 20, 2008

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