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good touch bad touch

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san-1

Asked by san-1 at 5:34 PM on Nov. 19, 2008 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 10 (455 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • As in how do you go about teaching it to your children? Or when is the appropriate age? Or did something happen that you need help with?
    Mom1Stepmom1

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 5:38 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • Wanted help teaching it to my daughter. How to bring the subject up and when the best time is to talk about it. She just turned 4 this fall. I have no concerns that anything happened to her but I just want her to know.
    san-1

    Answer by san-1 at 5:47 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • Just like the talk about sex, this should not be a one time thing, but an on going conversation so that she knows it is an open thing between you two and she will be more likely to come to you if something does happen.

    That being said, I am sorry, I don't really have any advice on how to get started, my LO is only 6 months! But I do know that moms on here provide some great resources, including books and some movies, hopefully they will see this question.
    CarolynBarnett

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 5:56 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • We got this paper doll and we pointed out areas on the body to ask what they were used for and who was allowed to touch them. Started with that as a game so that he didn't feel he was being lectured. I also got a book called Bad Touch Good Touch through our pediatrician but I no longer have it. I passed it on my SIL when her son started daycare. I cannot remember who the author was, but it seemed pretty common and easy to get a hold of. We would "play" the doll game once or twice a week and then we would start going through scenarios. 'What happens if the doctor touches you here?" "What happens if a friend from school wants you to touch him there?" Then after that seemed to click to him, we went to things like touches that by location werent bad, but by feel were.
    Mom1Stepmom1

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 6:10 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • well for starters make sure she knows her parts and the correct or at the least a logical name for her parts so if she has to tell someone like a teacher then they know what she is talking about. then during her bath or shower just keep reminding her that only herself can touch those areas and mommy and daddy or anyone who gives her a bath ONLY. make sure you use the word private so she understands that those areas are private etc.
    amandap1705

    Answer by amandap1705 at 6:38 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • There are great books available in almost all public libraries across the country. They should have age appropriate books that you can snuggle up with your daughter and read to her. Then you can discuss the book together. Also your local sexual assault center is required to have education material due to recieving federal and state funds. People call these centers all the time (I used to work for one) and asked for literature or advice on how to get started. Most even have programs that you can invite them to your church or preschool to do a talk about how hands are not for hurting. It is age appropriate and is very informative in a casual and friendly way. What a great mom you are for getting started and recognizing she needs this information.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 10:13 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • With my son (4).... I have done the scenarios "game" to get an idea of how HE thinks he would react to different scenarios. Then we talk about his answers

    The other thing I do is when I am bathing him even I ask for permission to wash his privates and I have the doctor ask, too before she examines him. I figure that way he knows if MOMMY and DOCTOR have to ask.... then so does everyone else... and it will give him a basis to think if someone is forcing it on him then it may not be right.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:57 PM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • Thank you all so much for your advice. I think I am going to look the book up online and start talking about the parts of body starting today.

    Thanks again!!
    san-1

    Answer by san-1 at 5:53 PM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • I actually just started this with my 4 year old daughter. I asked her where her private parts were. She told me in her room, LOL! I said no and pointed and said the areas. Then a few minutes later I asked her where her private parts were. She told me and pointed. I asked her do you let anyone touch you in those parts? She said no. I said if anybody touches you there, you tell mommy. After about an hour or so has gone by I would repeat all the questions. I think the main thing is repetition. They learn with that. And I want her to feel comfortable coming to me if someone ever does touch her. I wasn't.
    LexiMom4

    Answer by LexiMom4 at 5:46 PM on Dec. 15, 2008

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