Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

What are your alternatives to yelling at your kids?

I hate yelling at my kids, although certain situations for sure warrant a raised voice. I feel that almost always, getting sucked into the their emotion and loosing my cool makes things worse.

What do you think and what are your alternatives, if any, to discipline without screaming at them?


Answer Question

Asked by SigridSK at 1:57 AM on Feb. 24, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 6 (141 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • It depends what you yell at them for. Alternatives are many. ranging from spanking to sending them o their rooms .Yelling is no good, try to stop it, it probably upsets you more than it does them. .

    Answer by janet116 at 2:02 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • with my preteen i punish her by taking down all her posters, anything funin her room. i take her cell phone also..she has to earn it all back.

    Answer by Sweetandsasymom at 2:09 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • I have gotten so much better at not yelling at them. I try to breath, understand that they are just children and calmly deal with the situation - but it's hard sometimes.
    My daugher gets quite disturbed at the yelling - that has been my main motivator to stop.

    I read somewhere that said - the answer is never found on the same level as the problem!

    Comment by SigridSK (original poster) at 2:09 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • What do you think about positive reinforcement? Encouraging good behaviour instead of punishing bad.

    Comment by SigridSK (original poster) at 2:10 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • I've always believed in spanking but thought that screaming is abuse.  I was screamed at, and spanked, and let me tell you I hated the screaming a lot more.  It always made me ansy as an adult and prone to screaming myself.  This isn't a bash babes, just saying my experience.  I think that both encouraging good behavior AND punishing bad behavior is the way to go.  How old are your children?  Are you against spanking?  Have you tried time outs?  My kids are still young so I don't practice taking their things away.  They don't understand that yet. 


    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 2:16 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • I am really quite anti-spanking. But we have found that time outs - up in their rooms work well. And constent consequence. If bad behaviour happens then a certain thing is taken away or they won't be able to do something fun. It works, it is just about being consistent!

    Funny - I see spanking as verging on abuse and yelling as a close second...

    Comment by SigridSK (original poster) at 2:25 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • I try not to yell at my kids, but I do catch myself yelling without realizing it. My daughter will block me out while I'm talking to her and my boys start watching tv or talking to each other like I'm not even there. I don't know what to do either. My parents were strict but I don't ever remember getting spanked. They told us what was expected and we did it. Mainly out of respect and not fear. I know my patience is not what it was a year ago. Ever since I quit smoking I have a very short fuse. I wish I could help. Deep breathing and walking out of the room and returning with a different approach is slowly helping me.

    Answer by Barbs05 at 2:35 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • saying what you mean and mean what you say. Once is a warning twice is a consequence. Does this always work AHHHH Nope! But trying to be as consisitant as possible helps alot. But I do recall the days when the two of my kids fought and argued. I did find a small and effective solution to that.. I went to my room for time out. they quit. I think that taking things away is good. But I think that some times parents give the kids too much of a consequence and then they get caught up in giving it back. like a parent gets mad and takes the WII for a week. but the kids are good for three days and they give it back.. EVERYTIME. ok if you know you can't hold out longer than three days... do only three days. if they act up you can always add a day that YOU CAN do. Kids laugh at parents that do that... I did.. i knew it would not last a week. Oh and spend time with them.... quality time.

    Answer by gammiej at 2:41 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • :)  Yep, everyone is different.  That's why I wanted to make it clear that I wasn't bashing you.  Every family is different, and works differently. 


    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 2:50 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

  • I love that gammiej - so true - you have to realistic consequences and be brave enough, strong enough to stick to your guns. I hear my husband threatening to take away totally unrealistic stuff...l just have to laugh...

    Spending time with them is a biggie too. I know that is especially what my daughter needs - she is a sensitive soul and needs her mamma on an emotional level. We have started spa evenings. She gets to stay up late and we take baths, listen to nice music, a little aromatherapy and just NICE. She has started becomming a much better listener now that she turned 8, my boy - 3 years old, a bit more challenged in that area!


    Comment by SigridSK (original poster) at 2:57 AM on Feb. 24, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.